


Intended

by KerryLamb



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien/Human Relationships, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Bonding, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Marriage of Convenience, Mating Bond, Pon Farr, Vulcan Biology, Vulcan Bond, Vulcan Culture, unwanted engagement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21806215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryLamb/pseuds/KerryLamb
Summary: Spock is an outlier in a lot of ways. He's half human, a dyslexic genius and a Vulcan without a bondmate. Michael doesn't fit neatly into any mold either. She's a human making a life on Vulcan, a child with no parents and an uncertain future.When she's brought to Sarek's attention he sees an opportunity to solve a great many problem. What he sets into motion has both Spock and Michael riling. Will the boy between two world and the girl with no family, find a place for themselves or destroy what little they have in an effort to deny fate?Life is never what we intended it to be but it still has the ability to be beautiful all the same. This is a love story between two being who never thought they could find it for themselves.
Relationships: Michael Burnham/Spock
Comments: 67
Kudos: 116





	1. Would you like to meet my son

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyPeck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyPeck/gifts).



> Lady Peck was so kind to give me this prompt and I've been working on it since. I love the Michael/Spock pairing and I find Sarek's referring to Michael as his ward instead of his daughter to make a bit more sense this way.

When father arrived home late Spock thought nothing of it. He had enough on his mind to keep himself busy. Homework always had to be double checked due to his dyslexia and his meditation practice was essential. 

Lately his focus had been elusive. The inattention sometimes gave way to frustration which quickly led to angry. He had been fighting in school where he had once been peaceful. His mother placed the blame with skipping grade levels and encountering bigoted upperclassmen. 

His father was thought the rows was more simple than that. Human emotion housed within a Vulcan body were sure to be a volatile mixture. Emotions, after all, ran deep in his father’s people. What a human might interpret as annoyance a Vulcan would manifest as an offend that bordered unforgivable. Logic brought balance and balance had to be maintained.

He hadn’t said it aloud but Spock could feel his father’s emotions edging along his mind. A fear that came from whether Spock would be able to do for himself. A concern for his adaptation within the rest of Vulcan society. A mild disquiet over the state of his humanity and how he expressed it. Overall, Sarek did not know how to adequately parent yet another son.

Spock was incredibly bright, a handsome Vulcan youth but his needs, mentally and emotionally, were many. His mother labored steadily to support him while his father worked in fits and starts. This evening was such a night.

His mother had served him last meal and already read to him. He remained awake working at his desk by the light of the sun just skimming the horizon. During the first month of Tasmeen, one of Vulcans’ two suns was always present in the sky. Even if one fully set, the other hover ed defiant just above the ever present mountain range.

The K’ai trees were deep red and losing their leaves. They rustled free in the night breeze and tumble loudly across the pavement surrounding them. He continued to draw in his tablet as the sound of the leaves and his mother moving around downstairs filled the air.

And then he heard the door. There was no greeting as was customary for his mother to make and that made him pause. When he heard his father’s low murmur and his mother’s soft hello he rose from his desk.

He went to the walled-in railing and looked over to find his mother address a female child. Not just any female child; a human.

Spock clutched at the railing and silently held his breath. His eyes darted around the foyer but he saw no one else or anything accompanying her. No parents, no healer, no bags or papers. Just her standing silently between his parents. What was the meaning of this?

He watched as his mother asked after the female’s name. “ Michael.” she said, her inflection flat. Her voice was incongruous with everything else about her. Her skin was a warm brown like the ku-li(valley) around Mount Tarhana. Her hair was awash with long curls, a good deal wavy than his father’s and his lost brother’s. Her eyes were large and dark and rimmed with dark lashes. Fear, apprehension and something else Spock couldn’t placed filled the dark brown depths and held his attention.

His mother made a move to clasp Michael’s hands and Spock watched in surprise as she moved her hands away. Weren’t humans prone to touching one another? Were they not more physically affectionate and expressive than they Vulcan superiors? He had noted his mother’s brooding over him and his father’s strained patience as she hugged and kissed him. 

This human child Michael, however, did not display the same warmth and affection of his mother. He studied her and found himself confused. Was his mother the anomaly or was Michael? Where were parents and why was she here?

He moved to get a better view of her around his mother and she tilted her head up as her eyes caught the movement. He froze under her gaze. Looking at her full on Spock was surprised by its comeliness. Her face was quite pleasant and soft angles. She had high cheekbones similar to most Vulcans but the rest of her face was very human in its appearance. 

“ Would you like to meet my son?”

Spock’s stomach flipped at the notion. He did not wish to meet this Michael. He didn’t understand why she was here. He could think of reasons why but that didn’t settle well with him. Science appealed to him for its factual nature. He knew exactly what things were and how they operated. Math was similar but gave him some difficulty. The numbers moved about in his mind and came out jumbled when he gave the answer. Right now, Michael was like math and he wasn’t even sure of the equation.

His feet moved quickly as he retreated to his room. He sat at his desk and tried to look busy. He resumed a drawing that he had started just days before. A d’rachanya or a dragon in standard. They were believed to be extinct on Vulcan but the bones of the great beast still lined many museum halls. 

He was still rendering the scales along the jawline when his parents knocked and opened his bedroom door. He kept his back to them as they called his name and informed him of Michael’s. She stayed silent as they tried to coax him into speaking and remained speechless as his father’s hard voice summoned him forth. 

“ This is Michael.” he said. He gestured to the human child and looked pointedly at Spock. “ She will be staying with us. You will show her the ways of Vulcan. I intended for you to be friends.”

  
He hadn’t known what his father meant at the time but everything that came to pass made complete since and was seen to its fruition. Michael, stayed with them long into adulthood. Spock showed her their ways, treated her as any male would a Vulcaness. But Sarek never intended for them to be friends. His father was sowing seeds for them to be _much_ , much more than that.


	2. You are very human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael comes to lives with the S'chn T'Gai family and adjusts to living not only with the culture of Vulcan but Vulcans themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of overlap here in the beginning with Michael arriving at Spock's home.

Vulcan. What had once been a fascinating adventure to be had, was now a hostile planet to survive. The fact was the planet hadn’t changed but the young human girl residing on it irrevocably had. Losing one’s parents did that to one’s innocence. Michael had always been filled with it. 

Sarek’s taking her in had saved the last dreads of it. A hope for something, anything to piece herself together had wedged itself in Michael. Vulcans were not known for the sentimentality. Yet the Terran ambassador took Michael onto himself with instant affection.

He had allowed the tight hug around his neck when he came to retrieve her but was distant in his reception of it. She realized then that she would not be touched often and hugged even less. He carted her away to his flitter and called his wife, Amanda, on the way over. The surrounding sands went from pale yellow to a dark, rusty orange as they entered the city of Shi’kahr. 

She watched from the window as the spindly towers of the gleaming cityscape erupted from the earth and pierced the honey-colored sky. As melancholy as she was the sight overwhelmed her with awe.

Her parents had settled in the sand plains of Ara’kahr for their research and rarely ventured into the nearby cities. The had groceries delivered and Michael was schooled at home. 

While it had been void of other children, the flat valley had supplied her with the unbridled beauty of the planet’s nature.

Here in Shi’kahr, Michael witnessed the marvel of Vulcan engineering and architecture. They wove through the behemoth structures and emerged into a sprawling suburban like compound. The flitter stopped in front of one of the larger abodes and Michael held her breath for what would come next. 

They stepped out and crunched up the sandy walkway towards the whitewashed home. She looked from the red, rustling trees over towards her Sarek for assurance.

Did he actually want her to live with his family? Was he only keeping her until someone else would claim her? Worry knotted Michael’s belly as she considered her future and what it might hold. 

The door opening to a slender, dark-haired human jarred Michael out of her thoughts. She looked out of place in the massive doorway. She ushered them in and immediately took to trying to comfort Michael. Her open expression of welcome in conjunction with Sarek’s questionable acceptance left her feeling off balance. When she reached for her hands, Michael moved them away. She wasn’t ready too and she didn’t want to perform the gesture in front of Sarek.  _ It would be better for me _ , she thought,  _ to act in a way that makes him comfortable so he’ll take me in. _

It didn’t seem to matter though. They were already ushering her upstairs to meet their son who had just run away from them. He was someone most everybody could agree was cute. He had large eyes perched above a button nose and baby fat still clung to his cheeks. His brows made him look serious and like he was pouting at her. The frown he wore completed the look as he rose up from his desk from Sarek summoning him forward. 

“ This is Michael.”

She stuck out her hand, Vulcan civilities forgotten and waited for him to grasp it. He stared from her hand to her face and cocked his head, studying her.

Michael held herself still as Sarek encouraged their friendliness until Spock closed the door in all of their faces. It was rude to be certain but incredibly honest. He didn’t care for her to be here one way or another and saw no value in associating with her.

Michael found the house unnerving. It was so large and the family was so quiet that sometimes Michael felt like she was the only one there. Sarek was most often at work. When he worked planetside he would come late and rise early. On the rare occasion he was there, he would debrief Michael with questions.She would answer each one as best she could, informing him of her health and studies until he felt up to date. When he nodded at the end of their discussions it was like he was mentally crossing her off a long list of to-dos. She didn’t know how she felt about it.

Amanda was present but wary. Her desire to console Michael as she adjusted to living with them and not her own parents felt like a physical presence it was so strong. She invited her to every event and activity that including Spock. From suus mahna practice to bedtime stories, Amanda incorporated Michael with hopes of drawing her out of her shell. 

Sometimes Michael would find her watching her face or posture for acceptance. The desperation of it gnawed at her but she accepted Amanda all the same.

Michael did not wish to replace her parents...ever but Amanda was kind to her. 

She taught herself to care for Michael’s hair. She answered any and every question she could from where she would be attending school now to how she should properly fold and belt her school robe uniform. Amanda even put together a room for Michael to have of her own.

It was the last part that the third resident seemed to have the most trouble with. Spock abhorred her. Michael wasn’t entirely sure she was being dramatic but it felt like it. He would move through the house with one of three faces; concern, incertitude and irritation. He mostly looked perplexed when he watched her from afar but his irritation with her was clear whenever they spoke. 

Spock was older than her in Terran years but looked much younger. Michael supposed it had something to do with how Vulcans aged. Sarek was 68 and looked just as old as her father had been at 36.

The feelings of annoyance and confusion were mutual. She didn’t understand Spock or his reaction towards her. Maybe it came from Michael thinking he was much younger and treating him as such during her second day there. 

Spock had briskly corrected her and been vexed with her long into the next day. When he finally found her alone in the living after he came back from school he thought to share his loathing.

“ When if comes to our people, you should not leave anything to assumption, especially age.”

“ Sorry.” she said. 

“ Remorse is a human emotion.” he replied coolly before leaving for his bedroom.

Amanda had witnessed the whole exchange from the kitchen and went upstairs after him. Spock emerged a few minutes later on the staircase and eyed Michael contritely. 

He sat down beside her and looked her over at the notebook she held between her hand. She waited for him to say something as he sighed through his nose. Whatever it was, Spock was wrestling it into words. “ My condolences.”

Amanda had told him about her parents. Was that her way of getting him to be nice to her? Be kind to the human girl with dead parents. She doesn’t know about Vulcans ways and customs and only has us to teach her. Her gut wrenched with a sour churn. How dare they. 

Michael’s mouth twisted and she was speaking before she could stop herself. “ I don’t want or need your pity.”

Spock pursed his lips and straightened his back. “ Very well.”

She didn’t stop there. The word boiled angrily up out of her throat with a tone she had yet to use with any of them. “ You know you’re human too. You have the ability to feel remorse or guilt if you let yourself. I wasn’t trying to be mean like you were to me when I thought you were younger. I didn’t even ask- to be here.” she stammered.

He looked at her, offended. “ I was not behaving mean towards you!”

Michael leaned forward into his space. “ You were too! Just because you’re both human and Vulcan living on Vulcan, doesn’t mean you should be rude to humans! I won’t be bullied by you even if I am living in your house.”

Spock’s mouth went into an angry white line as he pressed them tighter. He glanced over in the direction of the staircase and visibly deflated when he saw his mother standing vigilant on the landing. He turned back towards her with angry eyes and nodded. “ Your logic  _ might _ be sound.”

Michael glared back at him with her curls half-obscuring her face. “ If you’re not sure then  _ you  _ should double check it and not me.” 

He watched her rise up from the floor and march upstairs to her room. She was quiet when she cried but she still thought he might have heard her.

\-----

She tried to stay out of his way but Spock had an eerie ability to happen across her when they weren’t with his mother. The cold war that simmered between them had yet to give until she resumed her studies at his school.

It was there that she learned that Spock wasn’t as horrible as she originally thought. Their classmates were far worse. 

From the moment Michael crossed the threshold she became the focus of everyone’s strident curiosity. She tugged awkwardly at her gray robe’s sleeves, trying and failing to hide her trembling hands. As she sat during her lectures, she kept her eyes forward and her attention glued to her work. This more or less worked but navigating through hallways filled with leery Vulcan was intimidating.

She felt their eyes tracing her ears and eyebrows and heard the whispers over her disgustingly emotional face. Everywhere she walked there was a visible space they made around her to avoid getting too close. 

A few of the upperclassmen were bold enough to talk to her during second meal. However it was less talking and more inquiries and she did not care for their questions. Namely the first one.

“ Why are you here?”

Michael frowned up from her bowl of soup and looked at the male asking. He looked to be about her age which probably meant he was older. His wavy blonde hair curled just above his ears while the rest was clipped short. Four more males sat with him and five females sat across from them. 

They all turned and stared at her, waiting for the answer. Their faces were aloof but she felt their attention prickle at her skin. None of them introduced themselves.

Michael swallowed her soup and looked from face to face.“ It isn’t obvious? I’m here to learn.”

The male’s brow ticked and he tilted his head, studying here. “ Yes but why are  _ you _ learning here at  _ this _ school?”

Michael internally cringed at the sound of the you. You clearly meant her but included all of humanity. She had never encountered such acerbic behavior before. All the Vulcans she had come across while living here had been distant but polite. These ‘children’, however, did not possess the same finesse that their elders did when it came to hiding their prejudice. 

“ Why not? It’s the closest one to my home?” She looked to his face and to a few others and forced herself to not shrink. She longed to have her mother or father’s wisdom in navigating this exchange. 

“ Human aren’t able to comprehend and master the same skills as Vulcans” another male said. “ Your parents are setting you up for failure.”

Michael’s eyes glittered with tears but she held them back with a few, rapid blinks. “ My parents died. Spock’s family took me in and enrolled me here.”

A number of the males looked to Spock, sizing him up as he sat off in the corner, eating and reading.

Michael sniffed at the run in her nose and held her jaw tight to keep her tears at bay. A female sitting next to her leaned away while another male sitting to the right of the blonde one gave a flash of a sneer. 

  
The female seated furthest away from Michael leaned forward over to table to better view her. “ Is Spock your intended? It would make sense if he were. His parents would need to look after you to ensure your safety and wellbeing.”

Michael’s face contorted into a full scowl before she could smooth it. “ Intended? What does that mean?”

The males sitting across from her looked amused and the females next to her brightened. The female sitting at the end went on, clearly pleased to educate her. “ Your intended is your bondmate. The person that your parents and theirs wish for you to bond and marry.”

Michael shook her head as she tried to take the information in. Marry Spock? Bond? What was a bond and why did Vulcans do it? She glanced over at Spock and shook her head again. 

Spock couldn’t stand her; his parents would never consider them to be compatible? Would they? She stared down at her food as she spoke aloud. “ I don’t understand. I’m just being raised alongside Spock.”

“ Well are you already bonded?” the female closest to her asked. Michael shook her head again, feeling a bit more frantic. “ I don’t even know what bond or bonded means.”

The blonde male’s eyes glittered with barely hidden contempt. “ Spock has yet to be bonded to someone. He’s tainted blood led to a mental condition unheard of in Vulcans.”

Michael glanced towards Spock and back at the boy. “ What are you talking about?”

“ Dyslexia.” he said loud enough for those next to their tables to here. Some turned to listen, eyeing her as well. Gaining a bigger audience, the blonde male went on. “ No Vulcan clan would dare introduce polluted genes from such an abomination.”

“ Take it back.”

Their table and those around it went silent. The females next to her stared in amazement. She had to think that this wasn't a typical behavior for a female or underclassman. And as much as Spock didn’t like her, Michael knew he or anyone else for that matter deserved this slander. 

The male narrowed his eyes and sat up straighter. “ What was that?”

Michael grit her teeth and glared back at him. “ I said take back what you said about Spock.”

It felt good to be angry at big no-name bully. It took her mind off of her grief and spent the frustration that had been brewing since she had arrived on campus. She saw Spock rise from where he had been eating and make his way towards them. 

Said bully wasn’t intimidated in the least. He leered at Michael and raised one, arched eyebrow at her. “ No; there’s nothing to take back. It is pointless to deny the truth. He is unwanted. Even by a human that would be fortunate to have him.”

Michael looked at him, taken aback. “ What?!”

She was truly furious now. Between the boy’s smug slander and the other’s silence Michael felt like she was trapped in a gaslighting nightmare.

The male leaned over the table and flashed a quick sneer. “ It’s obvious from your emotional outbursts that you would do well with a Vulcan mate, no matter how blighted. You don’t-”

Her small fist connected with his nose before he was midway through his sentence. Those around them reel back in horrified shock. Most gasp in surprise and wait with baited breath to see what will happen next. Most but not all. 

Spock leaned over the table in front of Michael and grabbed her fist. She had it cocked back to hit the male again when he grabbed it. Her arm shook as she tried to wrestle it free. She turned her gaze on him and instantly softened as she caught sight of his face. He was sad.

The expression left just as quickly as it came and Spock blinked towards the scowling blonde male. He was holding his bloodied nose and looking for all the world like he wished to punch her back. 

“ S’chn T’gai Spock and ward. To the Osu Yovil’s office. Immediately. P’Vahn Kalon Hirak, report to the medical aid office.”

The three of them filed out and slowly made their way towards their appointed destinations. Spock walked quietly beside her. He looked neither tired or crossed, merely thoughtful. They meant with the Osu and sat outside his office as he called Spock’s mother. 

Michael clasped her hands in her lap and concentrated on her breathing to keep from crying. Her first day at school had been an utter failure. She was without friends, loaded with enemies and had possibly fractured something in her hand. A fat tear plopped onto her wrist and she bowed her head to keep the others that might follow hidden from view.

“ You are quite strong.”

Michael sniffed and looked up from her lap. Spock looked at her with mildly contained amusement. “ Your form needs improvement. Does your hand hurt?”

She nodded and he looked around to make sure they weren’t being watched. He carefully took her swollen hand into his and held it in the space between where they sat. With the surplus of fabric from their robes, no one would see that they were touching unless they stood over them.

Michael wondered over his possible affection when the first mellow wave of energy eased the pain in her knuckles. She sighed and let her eyes fall close as another wave dulled the throb. “ Thank you.”

“ None is necessary.” he answered quietly. He waited a beat and spoke again. “ If there was, I would be thanking you.”

She opened her eyes and furrowed her brows. “ Are you joking?”

He shook his head and offered her a quick smile, his first towards and for her. “ You defended me though you had no need to. You stood up for me and...it was very human of you.”

She felt herself bristle. “ Human of me? Like emotionally stupid?”

Spock’s gaze softened and his hand tenderly clutched hers tighter. “ You were kind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Spock and Michael have a common issue to bond over, bullies. Amanda's going to have her work cut out with her with these two hotheads. What do you think about Michael? Is she well-suited to live along the natives or is her brash behavior a hindrance? Michael is still curious to know what bonding means; who do you think is going to tell her and what might her reaction be?


	3. What you find when you're alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Restrictions and rules rub Michael the wrong way while she watches Spock take on more responsibility and freedom with his Tal'oth. Spock thinks about this and more as he makes his way out into the desert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Ozi for the nudge to post. I have the next and potentially four other chapters waiting to be finished and looked over but I had some news from my doctor that threw me for a loop. Nothing grave but not necessarily welcome either. Writing will be a lovely break from it :D I hope you all enjoy

Answers for their questions were hard to come by. In the meantime, Spock and Michael had struck up a fragile kinship. 

Fragile if only because they were highly competitive and had a penchant for getting into unnecessary trouble. Their trip to Osu Yovil’s office had been the first of many despite their claims to be the last and final time.

Spock had gained no more friends than he had before but he had shed quite a few enemies. The duo was soon known to be more trouble than they were worth as picking on one meant starting a fight with the other.

Having his father’s ward near at hand could be as comforting as it was frustrating. Michael was a chaotic good; a peer that was ingenious as she was prone to acting on impulse. 

His mother said it was because they were so much alike but Spock could not concede to the notion. Certainly his mother couldn’t ascribe these qualities to his character. When was he ever impulsive?

Her physical assault of Hirak had been a prime example of their differences. The upperclassman had been unnecessarily derogatory towards both of them. That Michael would strike him for that had never once crossed Spock’s mind. 

When questioned later over the matter, Michael had been amused as she recalled it. 

“ Punching him felt logical at the time.” she shrugged. Spock had stared at her incredulously as she went back to her homework. 

Felt logical? What an oxymoron. How could one  _ feel _ logic? And how was it that it felt logical to strike a Vulcan male, a person three times stronger than her, for his verbal abuse of her caretaker’s son, whom she hadn’t cared for overly much? 

Or maybe she did? It was hard to say. There had been an incident, one of which he never had and didn’t think he could move passed. He had slowly started to warm to her as time went along. One year passed followed by another when they had their first vandalism episode. 

  
A sonic emitter had been aimed at the windows of their foyer and shattered in the middle of the night. They hadn’t quite know what had caused the fracturing until a note was mailed the following day.

His father had been visibly disturbed and his mother refused to speak of it. He would have been completely left ignorant of the letter’s content if Michael hadn’t found it. She had given it to Sarek when she saw it laying at the back door to their home from her window.

She softened the language it expressed but it was clear to Spock that their family was not only seen as taboo but a contamination to Vulcan society at large. He hadn’t known how hard the letter had struck Michael. Not even after the subsequent attack with the same harsh language emblazoned against their exterior walls in green paint. 

Spock only found out when she tried to leave. Michael had cared a great deal about the paint and the letter; worried for weeks about escalation. Being called human guv-tvi-rivaks and blood thinners was one thing but the window and the paint scared her. Made her afraid not only for herself but for Spock as well. 

When she tried to leave she hadn’t counted on him trying to faithfully follow her. She hadn’t thought over a number of variables which led to their shared moment of grief. He was only seeking to protect her and Michael knew that he couldn’t protect even himself. 

She spat out the words, in wet, clumsy chunks; hating speaking them as much as she hated to hurt him. However, she did say them and hurt him deeply because she couldn’t have someone else hurting him in a way he might not come back from. When his protest went on for too long Michael borrowed from the letter the phrase that she hated the most. “ Disgusting half-breed…”

To recall it now renewed the pain as if she had just spoken it seconds before. She broke him in a way Spock hadn’t known he could have been. That wily, chaotic nature of hers would have Michael inadvertently slaying him as she sought to preserve him. All because she cared and scarcely knew how to operate outside of her emotions.

Spock hadn’t understood her then anymore than he did now. It was probably the irritating stubbornness and conviction in her voice that had him currently nostalgic. 

She was employing both with his now as she tried tirelessly to convince everyone to her point. The request was simple but loaded. She wanted to accompany him on his Tal’oth and he was soundly opposed. 

They had been arguing in circles for what felt like hours. Michael hadn’t been so dogged with his parents which led Spock to believe Michael thought him to be the more malleable of the three. She would however find it hard to have him concede. 

During Tal’oth the chance of succumbing to the elements of the desert were high. With each passing month the rite of passage increased in its difficulty as the one enduring it struggled to find food and water and stand clear of danger. 

It was one thing to take the risk for himself. Tal’oth was a longstanding Vulcan tradition that youth passing into their teen years embarked upon. To have Michael, a human girl that had almost been eaten by a tcha’be’she just a tvum before, scour the dessert with him as he sought to hone his enlightenment did not strike him as sound judgement. 

When she suggested her attendance to Sarek, he more or less agreed with Spock.

“ While I admire your tenacity, Michael, this is not a task that took human frailty into question.”

Spock watched her struggle with trying to remain unemotional though his father clearly hit a nerve. It was after all, in Spock’s opinion, his specialty.

Michael squared her shoulders and smoothed her face. “ I am not frail. I believe that undergoing this…” she paused, searching for a word. “-this venture would prove that.”

“ It would prove that your pride would lead you into your own demise.” His father countered. 

Michael visibly tremored and turned towards his mother. It was a fruitless move for support but Spock wouldn’t have told her otherwise. His mother was a loyal mate to both her and his father’s fault. “ You know humans aren’t weak. Tell him.”

Amanda looked between the two of them and sighed. She made a faint hint of a smile and leaned down towards Michael. 

It as a wasted motion. Michael was rapidly approaching his mother’s height and was just as gangly as he was. She appeared like nothing more than long bones and lean muscle. Her long, curly hair exaggerated the effect. It hung like an unruly mass of springs coiling past her shoulders, like an anthropomorphized storm cloud as she grew more upset.

She stared defiantly at his mother as Amanda sought to soothe her. “ Humans are plenty strong, I agree. Sarek is only looking out for your best interest. This isn’t our home planet, Michael. How humans have evolved for eons on our world, Vulcans have done for theirs. Spock won’t face any great disadvantage here but Michael I would never forgive myself if you got hurt out there because we gave in to your whims and let you go.”

Michael baulked and shook her head. “ It’s not fair! I can do this!” she said.

His father sighed, annoyed. He seemed to be more irritated with having to explain himself than her lack of reasoning. He pinned her with a look that Spock knew all too well and pursed his lips. “ Life is unfair. Whether you can or not, isn’t our concern. Nor should it be yours. We won’t risk injury or death to your person when you can avoid it.”

“ But why?!” she asked. Angry tears bit at the corner of her eyes as her facade of control began to crack. “ You’re always telling me to grow up, learn the ways of Vulcan and conduct myself but you all won’t let me do anything. You order me around like you’re my father but you’re just my guardian. If you don’t care enough to adopt me then just let me go! This is such bullshit!”

“ Michael!” his mother chided. “ Language.”

Sarek turned his body to face her and narrowed his gaze. “ Your life is not solely your own. Amanda and I remain responsible for it until you are either of legal majority or wedded.”

Her eyes grew wide in disbelief. Spock noticed his mother’s gaze on him at the mention of wedded and puzzled over it. Was she thinking about his own marriage in bonding? He had yet to have a mate selected for him and he knew his parents had fretted over the matter previously. 

Their concern had ceased, however, with Michael’s arrival. Perhaps having to nurture and guide the traumatized human girl had spent all their energy they would have used otherwise or maybe debating the merits of having her bonded to their son tired them?

Spock hadn’t seen this potential plan earlier but it seemed clear now. Was there a reason for his father’s distance towards Michael? A reason why he comported himself less like a father and more like a caretaker with her? And then there was the way his mother had been teaching her Vulcan customs outside of school; was there a reason he was missing? Or ignoring?

His mind churned over the information with a voraciously. Michael could have been taken in with the thoughts of having her as his bondmate.

He looked at her as she fumed at his parents and thought. Had his father taken her on as more than a ward? Was she meant to be his intended? If so, then why not inform them both? It seemed untowards to withhold such information; like a grooming rather than a vetting.

Spock turned to question his father quietly when Michael shouted over him. “ Majority? Here?! I’ll be twenty eight before that happens!”

Sarek pressed on ignoring her. “ You will have other opportunities to prove yourself in ways other than Spock’s.”

She stepped closer to Sarek, her voice steady and firm. “ Let me start today with this. I’m embracing Vulcan traditions and culture. Please, Sarek, let me do this.”

Sarek blinked at her and turned his head slightly. “ You are continuing a conversation I’ve long since concluded.”

Michael went away from all three of them hopping mad. This only made the discovery of her waiting inside his room all the more jarring. Spock had paused in the doorway as her angry glare hit him from the corner of his bed. He glanced over his shoulder and saw hIs parents remained downstairs in a murmured conversation.

He stepped inside enough for the door to close behind before addressing her. “ You may stay but I need to finish my preparations.”

Michael shrugged and crossed her thin arms in front of her. “ Very well then. Get ready.”

Spock did so hesitantly. He knew from her posturing the urge to fight was still within her. He was able to confirm it when he placed the last of his rations near his knacksack on top of his bed. 

“ I’m coming with you.” she said firmly.

He looked up from stuffing the sack and stared back at her. “ I highly doubt it.”

She narrowed her gaze and flared her nostrils. “ Really? You too? I thought you would have been cool with this.”

Spock raised a single eyebrow and retreated towards his dresser. “ That would be the first time anyone has ever assigned such an adjective to me.”

Michael sucked at her teeth and looked away from him. “ Smartass.”

“ That one I am more familiar with.” She didn’t laugh like he hoped she would and he went on gathering his things.

He packed as fast as he could to avoid picking the conversation back up.

She moved closer towards the center of his bed and watched as he tied and adjusted his straps to his liking. The amount of scrutiny he demonstrated in doing it probably let her know he was trying not to engage her. He chanced a glance in her direction and knew immediately that she had caught on and did not like his avoidance in the least.

Before he could look away she met his gaze and brightened. “ I don’t see the reason why I can’t go with you. I could help you. Be a look out. Help gather food and be good company.”

He sighed aloud and felt a muscle tic along the jaw. “ It is not a recreational trip, Michael. It is a rite of passage that would have me seen as someone entering adulthood. Company is not only unnecessary but would be a hindrance.”

“ Am I supposed to stay a child then?”

Spock looked up from the fastening short outer robe in enough time to see her rise up from the bed and head towards the door. The silvery glitter of a tear glinted at her cheek before she could wipe it away. He hadn’t meant to make her cry, just leave him alone. How was it that they were so abrasive with each other? It felt like every effort they made with good intentions towards the other was met with the worst reception.

He straightened up from packing and moved towards her. “ Michael, wait…”

But she had signaled the door to open and had left without looking back. The rest of the packing went more dourly. He couldn’t entirely be pleased with ending the conversation because out of everyone, he had seemed to hurt her the most. 

Spock knew how that felt, how she had been after she had been saved from the sandworm in her haste to runaway. They tried to communicate but neither quite seemed to succeed.

Spock latched his pack closed and hovered above it. He hadn’t hurt her dually as bad when he spoke with her then, had he? He glanced towards the door and silently drew a deep breath. 

When Spock woke that morning he hadn’t planned to have so much weight upon his mind. Michael’s pained need for acceptance along with the possible of her being his intended were surely the heaviest things he had ever had to bare. 

Who would have thought that being out in the Forge with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company would have been a welcome respite? He refocused his gaze onto his bag and took ahold of the top loop. He could have stayed to sleep and leave in the morning but saw very little appeal in remaining at home.

Michael could come back to argue further or worse, steer clear of him altogether. He slung the pack over his shoulder and quickly departed from his room. He peered over the balcony and scanned the room below. It was empty now that everyone had retreated to their respective rooms. He quietly rushed down the stairs and let himself out. 

The suns’ blazing glare had his nictitating membranes racing out to cover his eyes. Sparing one glance behind him, Spock set off into a comfortable lope across the rock plain before him. He headed due west where the nearby mountain range gave way to the dunes surrounding the Forge.

He went on for miles, pushing and pulling at his breath and listening to the wind rush past his ears. The mountains never seemed to get closer but the suns arcing across the sky marked the passage of time.

The ground slowly began to incline and draw itself upward towards the craggy peaks on the horizon. Spock picked his way through the rocky terrain. He kept an eye out for the slender blue whip-shaped bodies of k’karee hiding between the boulders but they remained tucked in their burrows.

Fortune was with him as the inhabitants of the desert left him to his own devices. Spock gratefully lost himself to the task of hiking and steadily gaining ground. Thoughts of his family and the human girl they kept came to him often as much as he tried to keep them at bay. 

He thought of what Sarek might be doing to assuage himself of guilt and the activities his mother had chosen for Michael to participate in. He thought of Michael and the turmoil he had seen in her face. Had he turned his back on her? Should he have done more? What more was there to do?

The first sun set with these thoughts and more still bouncing around in his mind. In the growing evening he scouted for any sustenance he could find for dinner and a place to shelter for the night.

Food, however, was hard to come by. Among the craggy terrain there were only a few birkeen saplings and a stunted bush of fori but little else to be seen. Places to bunker down for the night were easier to come bay. This low on the base of the mountain, Spock saw that the cliffs had a number of overhangs and lateral fissures. Spock pressed on until only the fading glow of the last sun lit the sky and the Watcher was fully illuminated before choosing the last one as his den. 

The sleeping quarters for the first night was not as ideal as others he had passed. The cave mouth was wide and the wind howled loudly against it. The cavern itself was shallow and not entirely flat.

Spock could lie down on his pack and have a fire a few feet away but nothing more. Most distressing was the smell. Among the typical smells of minerals and dirt was the distinct musk, or funk, of nor-sehlat. 

He couldn’t imagine one being able to fit inside the small of a hollow but his nose told him otherwise. Maybe it had been a youngling, not that it would make a difference. A wild sehlat was a still a sehlat whether young or old. As much as he desired to find a different dwelling it was too dark in the night to move about safely.

Spock made the fire and put his back against the wall. He hoped the light and noise of it should keep any unwanted visitors at bay. Both suns had gone in and the Watcher’s marbled surface rode high along the horizon.

Spock watched its whimsical ascent into the deep violet of the night sky and fought to calm the alert the smell had inspired. To the east a mass of clouds silently flickered static lighting between them over Ara’Kahr. Heat storms were common there with just enough humidity from the surrounding salt marsh and the sea that it fed into. 

His eyes blinked heavily as he watched the lighting flash in all manner of colors over the glossy, glass domes of the city until sleep fell over him. He slept soundly from the day’s excursion but it was short lived. Two hours after nodding off he was jolted awake.

The sound of a rock falling down the cliff face jarred him and had him bolting upright. The fire was low but still gnawing hungrily at the fori branches he had fed it. The sound of another rock followed by scraping noise had the hairs along the back of neck rising in alarm. Something was outside of the cave and it was very close by.

Though le-matya prowled at night, they were silent in their tracking. The lanky reptilian felines glided like water over the rocks, gaining the upper hand with the element of surprise. Wild sehlats however were large enough not to neither care or manage staying quiet as they scavenged for food.

Spock grabbed a nearby rock held it at the ready as another noisy clatter of rocks came from outside the cave. He risked night blindness with facing the firelight and stared just above it out the mouth of the cave. 

He mentally cursed himself for not making any weaponry. He was only to take the bare essentials out into the desert of which weaponry was not considered. 

He held up the rock and froze as a shape took form at the mouth of the cave. Instincts had him tilting his head down and looking out from under his upswept brow. “Go!” he shouted, but the figure remained. 

It was far too small to be even a sehlat cub and the form was all wrong. The thing took a step closer and Spock swore aloud. In the light of his dying fire, Michael’s cloth-covered face came into focus. 

Spock dropped the rock and stared in disbelief. “ Michael! How-” 

He stood up and collided with the low ceiling above him.” Ow!”

Michael circumvented the fire and crouched before him. Her eyes were bright with concern and a mild hint of excitement. She reached for him and spoke with a voice muffled against the cloth wrapped over the bridge of her nose and mouth. “ Spock. Are you okay?”

Spock cupped the crown of his head with one hand and motioned her back with the other. “ How did you find me?”

She held up a comm with its screen displaying a tracker program and pointed towards the pack beside him. “ I planted a bug in the side pocket of your bag before you came upstairs to pack. Your trail hadn’t been that hard to follow during the day. You weren’t covering it up and you didn’t diverge your course. But I had to use this once it got dark.”

He winced and peered at her through narrowed eyes. Why had he stood so fast? He nearly gave himself a concussion with that stunt against the ceiling. “ Why are you here?”

Michael unwrapped her face and grimaced. She looked a little less confident than she had before now that Spock could see her face but no less dedicated to her cause. The rest of her attire was a strange mashup of Vulcan robes and Terran clothing. 

A loose set of khakis trousers covered her legs with large pale green tunic tucked in at the waist. What appeared to be hiking boots were laced over her feet with an all weather Vulcan robe covering the ensemble. The thick pair of wind goggles perched on top of her head looked more comical than sensible. She looked like a child playing adventurer. 

She adjusted her bag came a bit closer. “ I need to do this.”

Spock scowled and rubbed at his head. “ The need could be argued.”

Michael settled down with her legs tucked beneath her and settled her pack down at her side. She fidgeted with her clothing a bit more, perhaps trying to gather her nerve or her thoughts before she spoke. “ When my parents were alive, I believed I could do or be anything. I truly did. Not in the sense that I could be a unicorn or something imaginary but a scientist or a doctor.”

A smile played over her lips before she remembered herself and put it away. Spock stared at her mouth at a lost. He wanted the smile back as much as he was relieved that it was gone. He blinked up to meet her gaze and she continued. “ If I really wanted to do or be something. My parents helped me push myself into achieving those goals. And ever since I lost them...I...”

Michael swallowed and Spock could hear the grief strangling her voice. “ - I feel like I have nothing but people doubting my abilities. People that assume they know who I am and what’s the best I can do without letting me try.”

She shook her head and twisted her lips. “ I am not be Vulcan but I’ll show everyone I’m one hell of a human. If people want to doubt me, fine. But I won’t let anyone make me start doubting myself.”

She looked down at the ground between them and bit her lower lip. Her long curls fell forward and partially obscuring her face. Even with the limited visibility Spock could see the wet trail of a tear rolling itself beneath her chin.

Spock inhaled slowly through his nose and sat a bit straighter. His immediate inquiry over Michael’s sudden (and quite unexpected) appearance was answered but her speech had given birth to another host of questions. “ Do my parents know you’re here?”

She shrugged her eyes still averted. “ If they don’t know know now they will in the morning. I wrote a note that I would meet up and stay with you.”

That surprised him. Spock studied her face and asked. “ And why did you meet and stay with me? Why not prove yourself to ‘everyone’ alone?”

Michael scoffed and blinked up at him. “ Because I’m not stupid. You know your world much better than I do and I greatly increase my chances of survival with you. I’m not trying to go off on a temper tantrum alone just to prove myself right.”

“ Aren’t you?” he accused.

She frowned deeply and shook her head. “ No, Spock. I thought you of all people would understand.”

He tilted his head and winced as he felt it throb. Definitely a concussion, albeit it a minor one. “ Why did you think that?”

He watched her fight not to roll her eyes at him. “ Because no matter how dense and sardonic you can be, you’re still the closest friend I have.”

It was Spock’s turn to scoff. “ I’m flattered.”

Michael made a brief expression of frustration and turned her side to him. “ We need to rest.”

One more question nagged at him and he found himself asking her before he had fully evaluated the consequences of doing so. “ Did either of my parents speak to you about becoming my intended?”

Michael visibly stiffened and shot him a look over her shoulder. “ No.”

His brows furrowed and his teeth clench in rejection. No? Why had she reacted that way when he asked her?He looked up from the floor and asked because he just had to know. “ Does the thought disgust you?”

“ What? No.” she said. Michael sat up and turned towards him a bit more. “ Look, I don’t even really know what intended is or means. I’ve asked about it and the only answers I got were from our classmates and I’m not inclined to trust them. No one wants to tell me anything but expects me to understand everything. The only thing I know for sure is your parents want me to be super Vulcan while they remind me I’m human every chance they get.”

Spock raised a single eyebrow as the sentiment sounded all too familiar. He quelled his nerves and asked after her thoughts in a different light. “ Would you consider marrying if my parents asked?”

She answered quickly. “ No.”

Spock felt his chest constrict and block the air in his throat. So that was it. She was not interested in him in the least. His cheeks burned in embarrassed as he struggled with how to reply. What was there to say? He had queried and she had soundly rebuked the notion.

He was just about to turn away when she slowly added. “ However, I might consider marrying you if you ask me.”

His heart shuddered along his side as hope renewed itself. Again he was dumbstruck with what to say. When the obvious question of whether she would finally came to his mind, Michael held up a hand to quiet him. “ I’m not marrying you at fourteen Spock.”

“ Agreed. However, we could be bonded.”

She looked dismayed but nodded her head. “ When we go back we can ask about it.”

She turned back on her side and away from him. Spock let her do so in peace. His mind was abuzz with the new development. He could finally be bonded and not to just anyone but to Michael. 

All the thoughts he had kept at bay over the years were allowed to roam free through his mind. Small observations of beauty and character, the attraction that they kindled and hope fostered therein came surging forward. 

A smile curled itself over Spock’s lips as he thought of what it would be like to touch her mind for the first time and stayed as he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading and you know I love those comments bay-bees! Let's talk!


	4. It will be closer

She should have considered working up to a challenge like Tal’oth. Should have but the need to act was upon her and she told herself she could not let it slip by. Sarek’s and Amanda’s disapproval be damned, she would live her life as she wished. 

Now in the thick of three months out in the Forge Michael cursed her rashness. The last several weeks out in the wilds of Vulcan had changed her. Having to provide everything from the smallest gulp of water to the latrine in completing the rite was altering Spock and her both. Her eyes were open to the blessings among scarcities and the ready comforts they took for granted. 

The first month had been misery. Spock had pushed their pacing to reach the Forge as quickly as he could. He reasoned it would be safer there for her and they wouldn’t want to be caught out on the dunes at night. As much as Michael agreed with the sentiment her body was hard pressed to comply. 

Heat was a constant companion, never leaving them even in the dark of night as they lodged in the sun-baked rocks. Thirst dogged her day and night. Vulcan wasn’t without water; one just needed to know where to look. Despite this, the combination of the heat and exhaustion from trekking for days on end made a slight but constant dehydration seem unavoidable. 

Each day her pace grew slower and slower until she stopped completely on the fifth day. Michael had been bracing her weight against a rockwall when she slowly slid down to the ground. Once there, Michael found that she didn’t have the strength to get back up. 

Spock had looked more concerned than irritated by the unschedule rest though he kept his thoughts to himself. He had been quiet since her arrival and their discussion that night. Michael wondered if Spock had reconsidered his proposal altogether. Since she had come into his life she had been nothing but turbulent. Not to say that he was a picture of peace but she worried that he thought he could do better.

Admittedly she didn’t know how she felt about that. Relieved? Disappointed? She wanted Spock to want her but didn’t know if she wanted the responsibility of having him. Vulcans weren’t so different that she didn’t know what would be expected of her. She hadn’t thought of marriage, not truly at her age and the thought of being engaged or bonded as Vulcan society put it felt like she was agreeing to bondage.

Reminiscing over her parents relationship Michael saw something so simple was so hard. Her father worked to put her and his mother first just as her mother strove to do the same. How many times had she ever tried to consider Spock’s feelings and desires over her own? She wanted Tal’oth for herself and never once considered what Spock was seeking from it.

Guilt riddled her as she thought of how selfish she had been recently. She hadn’t thought once that she might have stolen an opportunity to grow and learn on his own from Spock if she tagged along. Self righteous anger had hastened her to She had been in the plains before with her parents and thought it would have been more or less the same. But her parents had always been there to help, a place to rest had been readily available and modern conveniences were never too far off from where she wandered.

Spock bent down and picked her up from the ground as she wallowed in her self-pity. By that time Michael had been too weak and ashamed to protest the gesture and allowed herself to rest against Spock’s chest as he carried her over the desolate terrain. He deposited her in the first cavern he came upon and left her there to forge.

Michael shifted on the ground to get comfortable and felt the unmistakable wetness of her menses dampen her underwear. She closed her eyes and groaned as all of her recent emotional outbursts, growing fatigue and pain suddenly made sense. 

She searched her pack and took care of herself as quickly. Fear that Spock would come back and see her bleeding gave speed to her limb but she had finished and he had been no where in sight. 

As it was she hadn’t had to worry as she woke up to him coming back hours later with one sun set and the other one hovering above the horizon. 

She blinked up to find him studying her as he sorted the paltry pickings the desert had to offer them. “ Are you well?”

She bit her lip and nodded half-heartedly. “ Well enough. Thank you.”

“ None is necessary. Rest. I’ll prepare end meal.” he said, turning back to the food.

Michael’s gut twisted as she wrestled with her guilt. Here he was having to split rations with her after she had rushed off. She should tell him. If she spoke to him now maybe she could avoid him completely hating her. “ I’m sorry.”

He looked up from the seed pods he was opening with a slight hint of confusion on his face. “ Pardon?”

Michael sighed and closed her eyes. Of course he was going to have her spell it out. Figures. “ For being rash. For coming and ruining your Tal’oth. I didn’t think that it was going to be this arduous. I-”

“ Your presence is not unwanted nor is my tal’oth ‘ruined’. It is different now but still a time of survival.”

Michael swallowed hard as she fought herself not to cry. Spock settled on his haunches and gave her slight smile. “ You may have been rash and your arrive did surprise me but you might notice I did not ask for you to go back.”

Her eyes darted as she recalled their conversation. He hadn’t. “ Why not?”

A blush burned at the tips of his ears and along the bridge of his nose as he carefully answered her. “ I enjoy your company.”

Michael stared at his blushing face, disbelieving. He wasn’t telling the whole truth. “ Did you let me stay because I said I might be your intended?”

Spock pinned her with a look that said to leave it alone and shook his head. “ I said I enjoy your company.”

He was being intentionally evasive and it nagged at her. “ Is becoming your intended a reason that you wanted me to stay?” she pressed.

Spock exhaled through his nose and gave her an exasperated look. “ Michael I wanted you to stay because you wished to stay. Is that no longer the case?”

He would neither admit or deny the claim. She looked down at her lap and shrugged, ignoring her cramping in her abdomen. “ I think I’m just tired.”

Spock let her words lay between them and went on preparing dinner. Michael had watched silently as he mixed what he found with a bit of their rations into two lumpy bars. She thanked him and finished off her portion all too soon. She remembered debating over whether or not she should eat the rest of her rations stored away in her bag to stave off her hunger when he broke her thoughts. 

“ Would you like to view the night sky from the cave entrance?”

Michael snapped her gaze up from her bag to focus on his face. She hadn’t been expecting the question but what else were they able to do out here? “ Yes.”

He moved towards the front of the cave with her slowly ambling after him. Even with the light of the fire, her eyes were nothing compared to his in the dark. What would have been a sore reminder of her poor chances of survival here only served to warm her. 

Spock had become her eyes, ears and strength in their solitude. As he practiced guiding her along he became something more than a friend to her now too. Something that he seemed to want to explore now that the day had finished and their bellies had something to work over. 

Michael forced herself not to move away as Spock shifted closer once she sat down. They silently stargazed, admiring the night sky with a nervous energy between them. When Spock subtly leaned against her, she peered over at his face for an expression as to why. But Spock stayed staring ahead and neither leaned further in or away.

While she was curious behind his motives Michael didn’t want to break the amicable peace between them. They remained braced against each other until he suggested they retire. 

Spock repeated this ritual for the all the nights Michael agreed to accompany him along the mouth of their temporary shelters. Each time Spock moved closer, chance bolder gestures. A brush of a finger along her hand, clasping his hand against her own, leaning in to smell her. She met each overture with the timid excitement every youth felt in experiencing romance for the first time.

At first she wondered if he pursued her in a Vulcan or human fashion. The hand holding felt like a bit of both but she couldn’t be sure. The way her body felt when she did made her question the touch. Her stomach dipped low and her breath caught in her throat. 

Her lips would part for air and wouldn’t close for minutes after. Her eyes were like magnets, pulling the sight of Spock into her as if she could drink him down. She had never experienced such a rush of...whatever it was she felt but she was keen to know why.

On the last night, Michael got her wish. They were just about to turn in when Spock leaned close and nuzzled his face against hers. Michael hold still for a moment, the rush of affection skimming of her like ripples in a pool. 

Him. Some of those feelings she felt when they touched were his own. The epiphany struck her with an odd pang of longing. All this time, even though they fought and argued and griped at one another; Spock felt this for her. The same she thought, I feel the same. 

As much as she would have worried that the desert had artificially set the conditions for them to grow closer together Michael couldn’t deny the lingering desire to be near him. Ever since their classmates had questioned their status, Michael had pondered the notion. 

Her mate? Her friend? It hadn’t seemed feasible at the time but tal’oth let Michael see the male Spock was without the trappings of the world. When stripped of his obligations and faced with the wild Spock had been able to meet it gracefully. He had been able to take care of not only himself but her as well. _ And he wanted me here with him, _ she reminded herself,  _ though he hasn’t admitted why. _

A gruff, amused noise hummed out from his throat and she felt his head angled in for a kiss. 

Michael still can’t recall why she tilted her head and let him however she was glad she had. Once their lips met Spock was hard pressed to let them part. Not that Michael was in a position to say that she wasn’t either. The kiss began awkwardly from inexperience but was more than made up by their verve to explore.

When Spock cupped his hand under her jaw some small reservation that he had been steadily chipping away finally broke and had Michael opening her mouth to his advances. 

They spent the rest of the night kissing like that, safely burrowed in their cave, tucked within each others arms. At some point she fell asleep but woke to Spock’s face still mere inches from hers. 

The night before seemed surreal as they packed what little they had left and made their way back into Shi’kahr. They trudged through the gleaming streets dirt-caked and bedraggled. It surprised her that no one questioned their appearance but everyone who met their gaze bowed their heads in a silent acknowledgement of deference. 

Perhaps in a way they were seen as a part of them now...at least Spock. Michael thought of the predicament all the way back.

The return home to Sarek and Amanda felt like arriving to Vulcan all over again. They moved about her like strangers who were newly acquainted, neither hot or cold. Inside the home felt just as foreign. Michael surveryed the house with new eyes after months living in the Forge. 

Water that they struggled to tap from the deep recesses of the ground was readily poured on demand. The bountiful amount of food in the kitchen looked gluttonous after hours spent scouring in search of anything of sustenance. No more energy needed to be expended for digging latrines or keeping an eye out for predators. A manufactured utopia that showed no hint of the work put into creating and maintaining it.

Sarek nodded at them like many of the other Vulcan they had crossed earlier and Amanda hurried them upstairs to refresh. Spock followed her quietly up the stairs before slipping into his own room. While physically present, there was a growing emotional distance wedging itself between them.

Michael tucked her concern away and went into her own room. She found she needed three showers to feel finally rid of all traces of the Forge. Every time she thought she had cleared herself of the sand her fingers would trace another line of grit she had missed. 

Her hair bore the brunt of the desert’s harshness. Upon examination the strands were more damaged than she originally thought. She blow-dried it straight and cut the frayed inches away with less attachment than she would have had previously. 

Before she obsessively tended to her hair in a way none of the T’gai S’chns could understand. In it she saw her mother, the same curl size and pattern as her father’s whenever he had gone too long without cutting it. 

Now, she stood in the mirror staring back at a face she could barely recognize. Her expression was flat along with her normally curly hair. The asymmetrical bob she selected from the vanity’s choices accentuated the sharper curves to her face. She looked...Vulcan. Michael ran her hands over her face, mezmorized that she could look so different in a matter of weeks. Strange but comforting. She was still her, just...revised. 

She came down for dinner to yet another surprise. The scolding that she expected from Sarek and the fanfare from Amanda she thought Spock would receive on his return was nothing more than a ‘ I see you two survived. Well done.’ from his father and a hearty meal from his mother. 

The silence they typically ate in felt stifling as Spock avoided her gaze. She went along with it though the readjustment to the expected space between them felt jarring. They had done everything together and now they were expected to live life separately once more? 

She kept her opinions to herself but she was sure after months of study, Spock could read every word she thought from his seat across from her. He stayed quiet but Michael couldn’t help but think that he had some feelings about their return as well.

Sleep did not come to Michael on their second evening back. The adjustment to the climate control had been easy enough after years of living her but her body refused to settle once she found herself in bed. 

Something else had come over her and burdened her mind. She brushed it initially as the last dregs of heightened anxiety from sleeping outdoors but when it persisted into the next day, worry began to gnaw at Michael.

She had her suspicions as to the cause of her insomnia but no way to voice it. Michael doubt either of Spock’s parents would entertain it and Spock wasn’t talking to her more than he had to.

By the fourth night she was desperate for more than the few hours she had been able to accumulate. Staying awake during school hours was burden enough but to have to pay attention and retain the lessons seemed torturous.

Michael felt Spock and Amanda’s eyes on her as she toyed with her dinner, slowly gathering food upon her fork and taking so methodical bites. They appeared concerned but said nothing. It was for this reason Michael was surprised to find Spock waiting outside of her room. She had just finished in the bathroom and found him waiting on her bed. 

She automatically glanced at the door and was relieved and nervous at its shut position. She glanced back at Spock and folded her frail arms over her protectively over her chest. “ Why are you here?”

“ I am unable to sleep soundly.” he replied frankly.

The answer astounds her but he’s still evading the question. “ And how am I supposed to help you sleep, Spock?” 

Spock dropped his gaze to her chin and spoke softly. “ I believe I need you near me to sleep peacefully.”

Michael felt her eyebrows rise in further surprise. He had been affected by their separation too? As much as the feeling was mutual she knew him sleeping in her room let alone her bed was out of the question. “ You can’t sleep here. I’m sorry. I-”

“-I would not need to sleep here per say. I just need your proximity.” he interrupted.

Michael tilted her head and stared, confused. “ What do you mean? I just said you can’t stay here.”

Spock looked at her briefly before darting his gaze away and licking his lips. “ We could be together in a different way. A Vulcan way; a meld”

Michael had heard and even been witness to mind melds but had no idea as to what it would mean for them. “ If we meld, we’ll feel close as if you were sleeping beside me?”

He blinked up from floor and met her eyes. “ Closer.”

Michael took only a few seconds to consider before nodding her consent. “ Okay.”

Spock gave her a brief smile as he rose from the bed. “ Let’s look at the stars from your window.”

Michael led the way nervously looking over her shoulder at the door. Sarek and Amanda rarly came in without knocking but it felt like they would sense what taboo exploits they were getting into. 

When she came before the window Spock stopped beside her. He took his time gazing out before reaching out to take her hand. “ If you do not wish to meld we need not do so.”

She shook her head and squeezed his hand. “ I want to.”

A few moments later, she saw how close they could be and spent the rest of the night dead to the world.


	5. Watching, waiting, weighing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarek hasn't been the absent father everyone thought him to be. In fact, he's been much more present than previously known.

**SAREK POV**

He had been watching them carefully now for some time. He knew there would be signs as to their feelings for one another, though they might be subtle. Subtle being the key to everything. 

No one was in on his line of thinking and Sarek worked hard to keep it that way. There would be a time where he could let most everything he had been planning for these past few years come to light but there was a time and place for such an emotional reveal. 

Too early and it would feel like a forced arrangement, too late and he would appear to have been grooming Michael for decades. 

Sarek wanted to make it clear that neither was the case. His decision making for the two young people in his care was his utmost priority. Their future would be affected in a way he would yet discover if their pairing was not sound. Bonding was a serious matter, Sarek could not agree for them lightly.

Michael’s welfare was very important, sometimes he felt as much as his son’s. When she arrived at the embassy and was found to have no close living relatives after the demise of her parents, Sarek saw a tragic child before the potential daughter-in-law.

She was the perfect age for bonding to Spock but not at all in the right mental condition. And how was she, at her young human age, going to conceive what bonding even meant to a Vulcan?

He knew Amanda would have baulked outright if he had suggested such a notion but she would never dismiss a child. A daughter. 

“ When the moment is right, she will let you know if and when she wishes to be adopted.” he had told her those many years before. She agreed as he had hoped and Michael was brought into their home as their ward.

And as she grew alongside Spock he had worried for a moment they would only see each other only as siblings or friends at best. They fought incessantly, challenged each other academically and badgered their teachers by getting into an unquenchable amount of mischief. There were months Sarek did not want to show his face at work because of their tireless shenanigans. 

If only they had confined their pranks to school he might have been less peeved. Though the thick, black eyebrows they drew on I-chaya as he slept still amused him. 

All these capers and yet he wasn’t sure it was something more until Michael went after Spock on his Tal’oth. Amanda had been frantic for her safety but it had been the tell that Sarek had been waiting for. His strict ruling had been the exact provocation that she needed to prove her metal.

She would prove herself as she saw fit to do so and would follow Spock in the process. As he watched her leave that night, Sarek knew Michael would be strong-willed enough to weather bonding and everything that came along with it. Michael would not shirk from responsibility, not even one as heavy as caring for a Vulcan male.

And Spock. When he had returned from his time in the desert Sarek couldn’t help but notice the intense focus he had gained. He had of course matured but there was a new attention he demonstrated. He watched Michael in a way that Sarek knew all too well. 

The time has come he thought as he finished his breakfast. Amanda and Michael had already eaten and left for the garden, their waking hours so much shorter than their own.

Spock was obviously trying not to observe them from the bay window on the far wall and failing. Any time Sarek would glance at his plate, he could sense Spock bodily leaning towards the window in hopes of spying them. A bond would help with that as well.

On the fifth such Sarek looked up suddenly and caught Spock wincing back straight in his chair. A blush crept over his face as he worked to keep himself neutral under his father’s gaze but he had yet to hone such a facade.

“ We have spoken very little about your Tal’oth since your return.”

Sarek could see how Spock struggled with the urge to mention that they hadn’t discussed the matter at all but kept the true and cheeky comment to himself. “ Yes, father.”

It was such a promising sign that Sarek allowed himself a smile. That made Spock flounder further as to what Sarek could be smiling about. Sarek pushed aside his plate and brought his elbows to the table. Steepling his hands in front of him, he let his smile deepen. “ You have matured a great deal since your rite. In a way that leads me to revisit the issue of bonding.”

Spock visibly startled at the word. He hid his hands and chanced a glance in the direction of the window. Sarek raised a brow at this as Spock’s concerns illuminated themselves. That he worried about his choice in the matter was clear but Sarek could see that he was concerned with Michael as well. Maybe his son thought he would pair her off as well? Possibly promise her to some strange Vulcan with no history or affection for her?

“ You need not worry.” he gently assured. Spock’s eyes narrowed warily and Sarek narrowed his own in challenge. “ I have waited and taken observation in the time since we last spoke. You would have been more than ready to bond with a Vulcan but your maturity and strength were such that I could not consider a human companion at that juncture. I could not risk you hurting your mate unintentionally from bonding too early. However, I see that you have changed.”

Spock stilled in his chair and focused his attention solely on his father. Hope brimmed in his wide eyes as he waited for what would come next. Sarek studied his eager face and wondered if Amanda had seen the expression on his face all those years ago. For her, he wished that she had. “Michael. She seems quite fond of you.”

It was an understatement but it was Sarek’s bait. When you wanted someone to speak their mind it was always advantageous to appear ignorant on the subject. It worked all too well as Spock took the invitation and pleaded his case. “ She is as much as I am fond of her which is a great deal.”

Sarek nodded as if this were new information and placed his fingers beneath his chin. “ And if I spoke with her on the matter you think she would have you?”

Spock nodded back. With as much excitement Sarek could sense between them, it was a wonder that his son was as composed as he was. A picture of discipline, in the face of great emotion, he thought, just what Michael needs.

“ I know she would.” he started, firmly. “ We have discussed it and she gave me permission to pursue her as a potential mate.”

“ And after all this time you still feel that she is amenable to the idea two years later?”

Spock nodded, looking a bit more human as he bit at his bottom lip. “ Yes.”

“ Well, that settles that.” Sarek replied. Relief rolled off of him as he felt the mental piece shift and lock in place. They would be bonded. “ This evening your mother and I will-”

“-It cannot be you.” Spock said abruptly. Sarek tilted his head in surprise and waited for Spock to explain further. Spock straightened in his sit and held his gaze, mentally abjuring him to hear him out. “ It cannot be either of you. I am to ask her, this she made quite clear.”

Sarek broke his gaze and let it drift towards the window. He could hear the tell tale scrape and thunk of the spade and hoe in the dirt as Michael and Amanda worked the ground into their will. Amanda had been experimenting with terran roses finally come into a bumper crop of promising seedlings. Everything is coming to harvest it seems, Sarek mused thoughtfully.

He turned his eyes back to Spock and saw him waiting patiently for his response. No need to delay. “ Very well. I will make arrangements for a healer to see you at once. On their approval you have my blessing to ask after Michael’s mind and spirit.”

Spock rose from the table with a sharp nod. No doubt he was leaving now to prepare for the venture out to the temple. Sarek retrieved his tea and sipped at the tepid liquid. Of all the times he imagined this day he hadn’t thought that Michael would have molded it into one that left both him and Amanda out of it. 

He smiled over the rim of his mug into the quietude of the dining room. He should have known better than to underestimate Michael Burnham.

* * *

**SPOCK POV**

Michael was still sleeping when he returned home from the healer. 

The early morning appointment had left Spock full of promise. The healer he and his father had met at the temple had been quiet but gracious. He observed Spock’s mind with a sharp, objective eye. Upon his review, he silently released Spock and ushered him back to his father.

The pair are sound he announced and may pursue bonding as and when they wish. Should she have him, he would oversee the ritual and file the record on their behalf. Spock had expected the flutter that filled his stomach at the news but it felt apropos. He could ask her; implore Michael to be his bonded.

The light dip came over his stomach as he came to her room and saw her lying there still dozing. The smooth cap she wore to bed had worked itself off sometime in the night and her hair laid splayed across the pillow. A few curls gently waved in tandem with her breathing, imploring him closer.

  
He did so happily, crossing over her floor as quietly as he could manage. He toed off his shoes and paused over his clothing. He mental shook his head and decided against removing them. He wasn’t looking to do much, at least not today. He wanted to inform her of the news.

Spock slipped between her covers and shifted himself over on the mattress until they were touching. Michael had started to rouse with his disturbance of the sheets and awoke fully when she saw him lying beside her. “ Spock…?”

Her voice was husky with sleep and crackled as she said his name. She reached out and touched his face and he closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against her palm. “ Michael.”

She blinked at him and then over towards the window. “ What time is it? Are we late for school?”

He shook his head, slowly so he didn’t dislodge her hand on his face. “ It is still early. I went to the temple this morning. I saw the healer with my father.”

Michael’s brows twitched in interest but otherwise remained smooth. The control she had over her expressions was impressive. He could feel how much the news thrilled her and here she was looking as cool as if they were discussing the weather. 

“ What about?” she asked.

Spock could feel her mind churning faster and knew she was guessing the reason. Instead of misleading and teasing her, Spock reached out and pulled one of her curls behind a small round ear. “ About you. About us. Bonding.”

Her full lips spread thin as she broke into an uncharacteristic smile. Uncharacteristic for her nowadays but she still reserved a few for him. “ And? What did they conclude?” 

He pulled her closer. Torsos flushed against one another and noses side by side, he spoke against her lips while gripping her soundly. “ If you would have me, Michael, I would be yours. You would be mine and we could be one in all things.”

She went still and silent in his arms. Spock would have been beside himself if he hadn’t been touching her. He could feel her shock stunning her senses. She hadn’t thought it would have been so simple, that the healer or Sarek or Amanda would have tolerated the notion. Hadn’t all the thought of bonding seemed so incomprehensible just years before? 

Spock watched as her shock waned and gave way to a blossoming joy. “ Yes then?”

She grabbed hold of his face and slanted her mouth firmly against his own. His fingers dug into the material of her nightwear and pulled her closer still. Her mental yes sang through his nerves like the pain of an ice treat against one’s tooth. All at once it was too sharp and sweet, the two sensations cutting him in a way that he could not separate. 

He nipped at her lips and heard her groan with a tug at his own clothing. His hands moved with inexperienced verve, eagerly seeking at the heat and curves of her. Michael pressed into them, needily moaning at each caress that had her core thrumming. When he felt her hands at his pants, Spock paused. “ No.”

Michael opened her eyes and pulled away. “ Why?”

Spock began to pull her back but stopped when he felt her resistance. “ I- I haven’t asked yet and you have not yet accepted me.”

There was more and he could feel her mentally picking at the thread he had let trail from his unspoken words. “ If you did ask and I did accept, would we then do as we like?”

He flushed and turned his face down to hide it. He felt exposed in a way he hadn’t expected. To admit his misgiving had him on edge. What would Michael think if he said he wished to wait? Even more what would say if she heard the reasons why?

“Spock, please. Tell me.”

Her hand crept over his face and he moved with it until he met her gaze once more. Perhaps her expression of equal apprehension gave him courage. Or maybe the assurance in her touch? Either way he moved closer and let himself confess. “ I’m afraid.”

“ Of what?”

“ Of hurting you. Displeasing you. Of you no longer wanting me if I do either.”

Michael smiled softly and slipped her hand along the back of her head. She pulled him closer until her nose brushed against his and whispered low enough that he had to strain to hear it. “ Ask me.”

He blinked, unsure of what she meant for him to ask when it hit him. He leveled his gaze and murmured. “ Would you have me as your bondmate, Michael Burnham?”

Michael gazed back at him with a triumph look on her face. She pushed her head against the pillow and angled her mouth towards his own. “ Yes.”


	6. Not in all things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarek and Amanda are trying to keep their child and ward respectable. Michael wants just the opposite. Spock is caught in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lady Peck, thank you so much for informing me of your condition. I will admit that I was and have been grieved by the news and have worked on this and stayed in my house as much as I could so you and others like you aren't exposed if I'm a silently carrier. I hope that you have someone physically there to support you and that you are able to find moments of happiness in this fucked up year. I'm having to teach my kids ( they're out of school for the rest of the school year) so you'll have to forgive me for my lack of timely updates. Maybe around spring break I'll get some alone time and have them destroy my yard as I have Spock destroy Michael's walls LOL. But srsly, <3 you and hope you're well.

The bonding ritual itself had been lackluster. Michael had held her breath, waiting on some sort of magical feeling to accompany Spock becoming her mate but it had only been the stirring of his mind that came to her.

Disappointment lost its rooting when she felt his happiness. He was hers and she his, officially bonded in more than desire. And while the transition came so naturally to them, those on the outside had a harder time.

The adjustment in public from what they had been to what they were now was difficult. The individuals weren’t the cause of their strife so much as it was their pairing.

After years of living together unbonded their schoolmates saw them more as siblings than potential bondmates. They had never done anything in ways of affection. No display of ozh’esta, no passing fingers teasing at their psi points. Nothing but trouble and unpredictable mayhem from the two on the student body and school at large. 

From the moment the news of their bonding was reported to the administration and their instructors, rumors burned their way through the school population like wildfire. Many conjectured what, if anything, caused the sudden bonding.

Had it been a permanent solution to inappropriate behavior at home? That conjecture was the most popular, followed closely by insurance against Pon Farr. Each scandalous hypothesis was laced with maliciousness that was almost apathetic. Their classmates had largely looked at them as a prickly source of entertainment and as much as Spock and Michael wanted to dismiss the lies, they wore on them. 

The half breed boy and the unwanted human girl. The shame of S'chn T’gai. The primitive beings among them, whose primal urges for lust and violence overruled any intelligence they had. 

In an effort to draw less attention, Spock and Michael mimicked the habits and behaviors of their bonded peers. This only slightly succeeded as most of their mockers used the public displays of affections as fodder for their slander. 

It only occurred to the ostracized pairing much later that they should have paid more attention to what such muckraking could do to them outside of their primary schooling. The Science Academy didn’t want anything to do with either of them upon their graduations. 

They had other family alumni attend before them but the first sibling to attend out of their current generation of S’chn T’gai had been a blight on his class. The freedom Sybok had given to his emotion had disturbed his classmates as well as his professors. His refusal to rein himself in under the precious gift of logic had a poor reception. Better they thought not to chance it with their alien disadvantages and strangeness. 

Much to Sarek’s chagrin, they applied and were accepted into Starfleet’s training academy. Michael would be leaving for the upcoming semester while Spock was deemed ready to come the next year. It did not bode well that they might be separated but they wouldn’t let it come to that if they could help it.

The stress of the potential parting seemed to weigh more heavily on Spock than Michael. He had been short as of late; curtly dismissing anyone with an undue animosity. 

At first Michael thought this had to do more with the planning of their Terran move. The logistics of interplanetary relocations was mind wrecking work but nothing that should have given birth to her bondmate’s new hostility.

And then there was the way he felt. Each feather-light touch he skimmed across her weighed on Michael like a hot, branding iron. At once it felt too hot and comfortably numbing. Michael would feel herself melt into the heat, arching back into his fingers as if she could slip and wriggle beneath it like one would a blanket. In those unabashed moments she wanted to be smothered by him. 

Every time she fawned like that at Spock’s affection, Michael felt the rising of something heavier inside her mate. It was Spock but not Spock; a cloying, possessive wave growing to tower above her. Whatever it was looked to consume her; lick at her mind and body like a selhat would worry a bone with its teeth. No matter how imminent the impending sensation that was and was not Spock felt upon her, it stayed its hand.

Michael didn’t know whether to be thankful or frustrated. So much of her wanted him but Spock remained fearful of his own strength. His hesitance made the rare nights they spent exploring each other with eager hands and heavy petting in the house unusually cruel. 

Spock drove Michael mad in every way he touched her. Each fondle, suckle and nip drove her to press harder against his body. _Take me, push into me_ her body would beg him as he explored her with his mouth and fingers but her climaxes never came from anything other than the aforementioned parts.

One late evening in late-teen desperation, Michael tried her hand in wearing Spock’s patience thin. The night began like any other that they spent together. Sarek was away and Amanda had long since retired for the evening. Spock’s mother had stopped attending events with Sarek after she and Spock had bonded. It was out of propriety that Spock’s mother did this but her reluctance to leave them alone was odd in Michael’s opinion. 

The two newly bonded sharing the same house unchaperoned simply would not do for either parent. The rumors that still lingered long after they had graduated would gain more fodder if Michael was with child while still under their roof. Bonded was one thing but living at home was another. Amanda’s house and Sarek’s rules.

It was one thing to have his parents on the opposition but Michael could have throttled Sarek when she heard that he had been the one to press the fear into Spock. Fear that he would unknowingly hurt her. Not in a way I don’t like, she thought petulantly. 

The same thought came to her now as she crept towards his room. The door slid silently open and revealed the star-lit room beyond it. There were only a few pieces of furniture to be had in the space but the best feature was still the windows. The Watcher’s marbled face filled two of the five panes, performing its namesake as Michael stepped into the room. Her night shift airly danced above her knees as she took a full scope of the room. 

Before her was Spock’s desk, smaller looking now with the passage of time. At her right were shelves lined with holos and collected treasures he marveled and pondered over.

And to her left his bed, with Spock staring out at her from the linens.

Michael smiled as she watched his lips contort themselves into unspoken words.

_Sarlah. Ka’i_ , he mouthed and she came to him readily. He took her into his arms the moment Michael came within reach. Strong, hot hands lifted her from the floor and deposited her beside him. 

Michael wriggled herself under the coverlet and pushed herself against him. The heat of his body in the already warm room should have been off putting but it was quite the opposite. The hot bulk of him settled Michael like a heavy blanket, stifling and comforting all at once. She crushed her face towards his chest with a deep inhale. Freshly washed sheets, tallow soap and the clean mineral scent that was Spock’s musk. Mine, she thought a giddy rush, nuzzling closer. 

Michael snaked her hands under his shirt and pressed her palms against the flat plane of his abdomen. She heard him inhale sharply and looked up to see his face. He was watching her enjoy herself with touching him. He seemed amused by it but she could feel him trying to dampen his awe. 

Spock moved a hand to her cheek and thumbed along the ridge of the bone. “ _Shok-tor du-veh_.” he whispered, looking at her mouth. Michael shivered at the sound of his voice as she nodded yes. There was something about his voice now that made her face flush. It had grown deeper and richer with maturation until he went from a tenor to a baritone. 

Michael shifted and kissed him as he asked and flinched at the scratch of his stubble. That too was new, stiff black hair darkening the sharper contours of his face. Spock had been growing older for a while now but tonight he felt especially new to her. It was if the teen she had bonded with had gone to sleep and awakened as an adult well into his prime; a man Michael was still coming to know. How curious.

Spock noticed her flinch and pulled back to examine her. “ Ra?”

Michael cupped his cheek and turned her fingers to run her nails over the bristles lining his face. “ _Grashau du._ ” she murmured. She moved her nails away and let his budding beard prickle her fingertips.

“ Sorry.” he replied but she waved away his apology. “ No need for apologies. You’re not rough everywhere.”

He frowned down at her and quickly gasped as Michael raised his nightshirt and kissed at his chest. The dark hair there tickled her nose as she trailed her mouth lower and down towards his navel. When her lips grazed the dip of his midsection, Spock caught her by the shoulders and halted her progression. 

“Fam.” he said gruffly though she felt his own disappointment in denying her. Not again. Michael glared at him though she knew he couldn’t see her from under the cover and pursed her lips. 

No, Spock would not deny her this. She would not be kept at bay. Michael shrugged his hands off with a huff and put herself face to face with the straining bulge in his pants. His hands came back over her shoulders when she grabbed at the band, aiming to pry her away from his erection but faltered. 

Michael had reached in and circled a hand tightly around him. She tightened her grip and brought her mouth closer. “ Please.” 

“ No, Michael. We cannot. I am not strong enough. I will-.”

Michael teased him with a lick and heard him curse. A victorious smile crept over his face as she tasted him on her tongue. The fingers on her shoulders clenched and unclenched as he worked to not stray too far in their exploration. “ Michael. You have to stop.”

She was far from stopping. She couldn’t help herself. Part of her begged to push him, get Spock at his weakest so he could see that he wasn’t able to hurt her. Michael licked him again and brought her other hand around him. He growled low in his throat before cutting it off with a wheeze. 

She placed him in her mouth just within the ring of her teeth and nibbled on him gently. His hips jerked reflexively to plunge deeper still and she felt grateful that her hands could stop him going too far. Michael felt Spock dismay giving way to the pleasure of her mouth. She quietly hummed around him and made her arousal audibly known. She was happy to touch him, craved it and he could have more if he only let go.

She took her chances in coaxing him further and ran her tongue over the thick head of his lok. Spock trembled against her tongue and tightened his grip on her shoulders. He wanted her, loved her attention but he was still holding back. Michael pushed her luck further and removed one of her hands to take him deeper. The head of his lok nudged at her cheek as she ran her tongue under his shaft.

A number of things happened at once that made it hard for Michael to decipher. One was that she was no longer beside Spock but underneath him. The next was that his lok was no longer in her hand and mouth but butted against her backside. Her shift had gone around her waist, leaving only her underwear to keep them apart. Michael shifted and noticed when his grip on her the back of her neck stopped her short. 

His breath brushed over her neck and she felt Spock run his tongue over the skin of her nape. She arched into him and froze as he used his weight to pin her to the bed. It kept her from moving and left her with the distinct impression that he would not let her move; not if it didn’t please him to have her move. Caught between the mattress and the heavy, male Vulcan above her, Michael saw the error of her ploy. 

When he spoke, Spock’s voice was noticeably gruffer. “ Don’t push me. I don’t want you with me feeling like-”

He pushed his hips against her and shivered as his control faltered again. She could feel his desire reining against his will to be in control and his instincts resolve to claim her. He was weak and she was exploiting that. She had hurt him. “ Do not mistake a senseless rut in a display of dominance for a passionate show of mating. Do you want me out of my mind when I take you, Michael? Truly, is that what you want? Because you court it ceaselessly!” Spock snapped at her.

Michael went slack beneath him, suddenly ashamed with herself. She had wanted him but she had pushed him to it. He had told her no, multiple times and she had not listened. If anything she had used it to fuel her desire to have him. 

She turned her face to the mattress and let the stiff sheets below catch the water pricking at her eyes. It made her feel like not enough. Every time he saw Michael she felt he saw her body as a fragile, lowly human rather than the attractive figure of his bondmate. She would not be diminished this way but what more could she do to sway him? 

Spock rose off of her as he felt her remorse and fixed his clothing. Decent once again he pulled her into his arms. Michael turned in his hold, wanting privacy more now than intimacy and pouted when he didn’t release her. 

Spock turned her face towards him with a hand and smiled softly at her scowl. “ Do you not want me now, mate?”

Michael sucked her bottom lip as _katelau_ rolled off Spock’s tongue. The word sounded musical as he said as if he had been saying it for ages. She was his mate but not in all things. And his rebuke of her offer to be consummate their bonding smarted more than she wished to admit. 

Michael moved her face out of his hand and drew in a breath to steel herself from his emotions. “ Quite the contrary. It seems I want you _too_ much.”

She felt his demeanor shift but remained masked to his emotions. She carefully peeled her body free of his arms and crawled off the bed. “ I’ll see myself out.”

“ Michael.” he called after her and then again when she didn’t stop. At the third call of his name, Michael huffed and turned on her heels. “ What?” she hissed quietly.

Spock’s brows knit together as he frowned more clearly. “ Do not act like a child about this.”

“ You first, man child.” she shot back. His face darkened further until they bore matching scowls. Michael knew in fact she was the one being childish but she couldn’t help it. How could she feel anything but rejected when he accused her of driving him to his wits’ end? As if her lust were some foul contagion that he had to avoid and forever be burdened by. “ I am not one being unreasonable. You act as if we are not of age.”

Spock adjusted the hem of his shirt to disguise his unease.“ You are rushing this matter, Michael. A few moments before I thought you had realized that.”

Michael’s haughty expression faltered before she could compose herself into something more unaffected. She sniffed at him and lifted her chin. With her arms folded over her unbound breasts she tilted her head in a mockery of his father. “ Perhaps you’re right. When you’re ready to be a mate in full, you let me know. Until then, you keep your damn hands off me and maintain your virtue. I would hate to soil you like everyone thinks that I have.”

An appalled look of surprise came over his face as she turned on her heels and resumed her march towards the door. She wasn’t going to make herself out to be a monster nor would she ‘push’ Spock to do something to resent her. However she was going to return to her room where she could be hurt and upset on her own.

“ Michael.” he hissed from the bed, now on all fours but this time she didn’t turn back around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to see if I can post the next chapter today as well. Let me know what you think about Spock's and Michael's attitude about their intimacy.


	7. Sanoi Michael, please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is love ever reasonable? Who gives in first when both parties were wronged?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So while this was already written I struggled chopping this away from the other text following it so it flows well.

Amanda and Sarek couldn’t help but notice the shift between the two but were given no insight into what had transpired between them. Spock was elusive. He did not speak to anyone unless necessary and danced about the truth between him and his mate. Sarek tried his typical methods of diplomacy while Amanda attempted to appeal to her son in a motherly fashion. Neither angle worked and only seemed to put Spock more on edge.

Michael, on the other hand, was downright rude. She had told Spock and a few others variations of ‘ It is none of your concern’. Only half of them had been said without a sneer and the remainder had been so curt that it ended the conversations altogether. 

She could see how Sarek wished to have her at peace but hadn’t he been the one to start this chaos? And Amanda. A lot of good she had been. Books about relationships and bonding had been carefully left out in the open. Second meal teas had gone longer than was necessary, to prolong and encourage conversation. 

All of the gestures had been especially aggravating when she wasn’t the one who needed counseling. What they saw as help Michael saw as meddling. What would they do if they knew the nature of her ire? Medicate her? Force Spock into bedding her like an owner would a pet? 

No; they would do neither and it was just as well. They had no say in their relationship or skin in this fight.

The air between her and Spock was tense but that was to be expected. They were both witty and had more stubbornness between them than all of Shi’Kahr. Neither one would budge on their points of contention or let the fight between them go. Both mates were certain it was the other that was at fault. 

This thorny conclusion was brought up once more as Michael argued to buy a place of their own on Vulcan. Spock balked and argued vehemently that she had lost all the logic she had ever had. Why should they waste their Terran housing savings on a small rental on the outskirts of Shi’Kahr? His parents had been perfectly fine housing them for the time being so why this foolishness. 

Her face had gone flush with heat as he rebuked the idea entirely. Well, perhaps it hadn’t been an idea but rather a command to be executed. No matter how she had presented it Spock had soundly dismissed it as unreasonable. He didn’t even care to explore the reasons why with her, why it would be healthy for all involved. Why shouldn’t she desire a space of their own? A place free of his parents’ influence and bad memories. A fresh start for them to move forward.

She ended the fight as she ended many others before them by leaving the room they occupied for that of her own. Sleep came easy to her that evening. A light depression over what her life would be had settled in and left her with a dull rage. It wasn’t the passionate kind that was active anger; grief from loneliness stole away energy for that. Michael peeled her clothes haphazardly and let sleep claim her before she could properly retire.

The room was dark around her with every sense on a razor’s edge. It was hard to explain it but Michael was aware of him. Easing into consciousness was difficult. The longer she stayed in bed the more restless she became.

Michael flopped onto her belly and moaned into the bedding. Turning had made her nipples rub against the stiff fabric of her nightshift. The heady tingle arced down her spine, straight into her sex. She silently inhaled and arched her hips off of the bed.

Her arousal confused her. It seemed apropos of nothing and was so strong it felt almost painful in its intensity. She had been sleeping and then suddenly jarred awake. As her drowsiness ebbed a thick, simmering need took its place. 

  
She rolled onto her side and gasped as her thighs came together. They were wet. How had they gotten wet? Had she peed herself? Had her period come off schedule? 

She wrenched the covers back and looked down at the sheets. Her relief was small to find them clear of red and the scent of urine. She shifted for a better look and bit back another moan. A fresh rush of moisture pooled at her folds and further dampened her already soaked underwear. 

She had never been so aroused before and the cause of it eluded her. She reviewed her last few moments and remembered the strange awareness of Spock. Her quim throbbed and she clamped her legs together to dull the ache. She felt empty, aware of her hollowness. There was a hunger to be filled that clawed low in her gut.

Her eyes wandered around the room as she struggled with what to do. What could she do? She didn’t want to encourage the desire but neither did she want to ignore it. She dug her nails into her palms and concentrated on the pain to clear her head. The best thing to do would be to wash up and put on fresh clothes.

She rose from the bed, careful not to jostle her body anymore than she had to against her clothing. She had no destination in mind and let her feet go where they wished. As she entered the hall, her senses were alive in its warm darkness. Each step she took pulled at her mind. She couldn’t explain why but the need to go to Spock gnawed at her nerves. Her mindless gait down the carpeted floor honed in on the sensation of him and moved forward. 

Her hands were trembling at her sides and her mouth softly exhaled his name. “ Spock.”

A muffled groan filled the air quickly followed by a raspy growl. Someone was in the bathroom. Michael halted as the door slid open to reveal Spock hunched over the sink. The muscles of his neck strained from the single-minded focus as he labored. Another grunt tore from his lips and the blush staining his face deepend. 

Her face joined in with the heat of sex and flushed hotly. He was-?

One sinewy arm was braced against the wall, the force of its extension threatening to push through the drywall. The other was furiously pumping his hand over the swollen shaft of his lok. 

The bulbous head glistened lewdly in the vanity light of the bathroom. A glossimer trail of precum leaking from its triangular tip, webbing the sticky liquid over his long fingers. Spock’s eyes were shut tight, lost in a fantasy tucked away in his mind. He stroked himself faster and she saw him shudder and his handsome contort into pained pleasure. “  _ Michael, ugh _ ... _ sanoi. _ ”

She was fully awake at the sight of it, of him and his actions. Her hand shot over her mouth to stifle a gasp even as her tongue salivated with the phantom taste of him. The flavor of him had been so distinct. Hot, salty and thick, the sensation had been seared into her mouth, marking Michael for him alone. 

That night coupled with this sight before her left Michael bereft for more of him. More that she knew Spock would not give her.

  
  
  


Michael stepped away from the door and ran for her room.


	8. Ha, Spock, Ri.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock is flustered to be caught was his pants literally down but is that all that has him hot and bothered? Spock's POV of the previous chapter

“  _ Michael _ . Mmph... _ sanoi _ -”

A gasp that wasn’t not his own cut through the air and had Spock pausing mid-stroke. He turned to see a shadow slipping by his bathroom door as it closed. 

“ Michael?” No answer. Spock stepped closer to the door and whispered louder. “ Michael!” Still no answer but the sound of footsteps hurrying down the hallway caught his attention. 

“ Shit.” Spock pulled his pants back in place with shaky hands. The right was a sticky mess of himself. He had been so enthralled with the memory of Michael’s mouth that he had leaked profusely. He was still stiff, growing painful for completion but how could he finish now?

Spock washed his hands and groaned in embarrassment. Surak, he felt hot. Had Michael heard him? Surak, had she seen him? He thought that everyone had fallen asleep. He cursed and rose out of his bed. There was no use staying in it now that Michael might have known what he was doing and to whom the action was about. He winced and rushed out of his door.

“ Michael!” he hissed, looking for any sign of her. All the lights within the house were off as they had been when he retired but the scent of her still lingered in the air. She had been here recently; only seconds before.

He stilled near Sybok’s room and held his breath. The last thing Spock wanted was another sibling running amok. He leaned his ear toward the door and listened. Nothing but the sound of his own breath came to him. 

He did this almost as a ritual now; checking Sybok’s room. Sybok hadn’t been back in ages and hadn’t lived here even longer. But something inside Spock, something intant and possivess had him check his room at night. No one would disturb Michael, least of all his estranged brother. 

He realized then that he was snarling and worked to smooth his face. Had someone reset the thermostat? He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It wasn’t the house but his body that was hot. He always felt that way when he grew aroused but the heat abated when he climaxed.

The heat had begun to grow uncomfortable. It started with the night that he rebuked Michael and had simmered hotter as he had to rely on his hand and imagination for relief. It wasn’t the same but he thought he could hold out until Michael came to her senses. Spock blinked and shook his head.

Well, she hadn’t been entirely off in her logic just rash. Perhaps he had been too. Why was something so natural as bonding so difficult to manage? Was it their humanity or just the nature of being bonded. He sighed and adjusted himself in his pants. He missed her so much.

The hiss of a closing door caught his ear and his head jerked to the side to look over in the direction from where it came. Michael’s room. Surak only knows if she would welcome him there. She hadn’t been to his room since their...disagreement and deigned to invite him to hers. She was cold, his Michael but not without reason.

Spock supposed he had rejected her but for reasons out of love. She was too...human, no...she was too much in her ego to see it...perhaps. He wasn’t sure. The more he had thought about it the more he worried he was in the wrong. It wasn’t as if he did not want her. No, it was far from that. He craved her, wanted her as much as a thirst desires to be quenched. He yearned for his clever, little mate so badly that it scared him. 

His father had merely fed the fear that was there but there was nothing to refute his claims outside of his own mother. And how would one go to their mother and beg for details such as that?

His body felt hot but he was not overly concerned. He was not with fever and his time had yet to come near him. This was only lust unsatisfied. Yet he was troubled. He had heard from his classmates, that lust gone unchecked could bring his time on sooner. 

Spock focused again on himself and felt muddled in his thoughts. He scoffed to himself and looked at Michael’s room.

Would he?...could they? He glanced towards his parents’ room and sighed in resignation. Whatever happened, he felt needed to happen. And if the need for more privacy arose he would seek to obtain it. For that’s what she was trying to tell him earlier that evening. She needed him, unhindered and unrestrained. And he would have his mate linger in need no longer. 

As Spock came toward her room, he hoped to help them both. 


	9. Wet with her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3

The door open and he stood silhouetted in the dim backlight. He stepped in far in to have the door slid close but came no closer. A whine caught in her throat and he drew his focus onto her face. “ Michael.”

She froze, unable to say what was different in the way he said her name. It was almost as if he called it. She felt distracted as she had when she had first awoken. Dizzy and confused and drawn to him. She couldn’t ignore his proximity, her body was keen to him.

Spock stared at her down in a way that made Michael shiver. Her fingers had stilled themselves between her folds but remained in place. His gaze snapped down at them and she saw his nose flare in an effort to catch her scent. 

His hand took hers by the wrist and drew it towards his mouth. Michael groaned as he guided his tongue over and around each finger, licking them clean of her cream. The maddening crush for relief eased as he did and gave her a moment’s reprieve.

She moved her free hand to his arm and squeezed. “ What’s...happening?”

She felt Spock’s attention sharpened itself onto her from the bond between them. He seemed out of sorts too. He shook his head in an effort to clear it and shut his eyes. “ Spock?”

His eyes snapped back open and he was regarding her once more. He released her wrist and stretched his hand towards her face and braced his fingers at her jaw, waiting. Michael placed her hand over his in silent permission and she felt his mind spark into focus.

He was aware of very little outside of her. Her safety and satisfaction were his modus operandi. Once he was convinced of her security instincts would drive Spock to display himself for her approval and copulate until her heat left her.

Michael scrunched her brow and bit at her lip as she reviewed the thoughts. Her heat? Was he referencing her arousal when she woke up? She hadn’t felt hot per say but she had been painfully in need. Whatever she was feeling, whatever it was that they were both under the thrall of was foreign. But Spock’s solution felt right. 

Michael tightened her grip on his hand and her body shook. She wanted him so badly it bordered on involuntary. “ Get your clothes...off.”

Spock released her hand and readily complied. She sat up to do the same. Her eyes hungrily took him in and traced each new area of skin he revealed. There wasn’t a word that she could think of to describe what she felt at the sight of him. 

He was a man now, all muscled limbs and strength. His budding stubble had been replaced with a hearty beard. The thin sprinkling of hair at chest now trailed down his torso. He watched her looking at him and her approval in what she saw. A small lift of his brow in question let her know he was still mindfully pensive. Like what you see, he seemed to ask and she grinned in reply. It was a shy, wiley smile to let him know she was quite happy with the view. 

  
The tenting in Spock’s sleep pants visible moved as his erection bobbed against the fabric. He enjoyed his view as well. Time to make it better she thought, pulling at the hem of her sleepwear.

Michael pulled her cotton nightgown over her head and held still. Spock’s gaze went glassy as it ambled over her breasts. She arched her back and heard him suck at the air. There was nothing necessarily seductive about their movement. It was neat and efficient, not slow and teasing. After each article they held themselves open for the other to see what was theirs.

The shedding of clothing was as much a tearing at the wall built between them. No one blame or fault, just a surrender to what is. They peeled off the last of their clothes and took one moment longer to eye each other then Michael moved on the bed to give him room. Spock’s eyes flashed in comprehension. He crept towards her and onto the bed, moving one hand from bedding to her jaw. 

His lip curled into a snarl as he displayed his teeth and Michael felt her lips part with an airy huff. His finger curled along her jawbone and she stiffened as she felt his mind merge with hers.

Give me what I need, his mind growled at her, so I can give you what you need. What she needed? “ Wha-!”

Michael gasped as his other hand palmed at one of her breasts. Need seemed so desperate but that wasn’t anything logical about how she wanted him. He cocked his head to the side and lowered his mouth around the other breast’s tip. Amazing that his skin could look so cool to the touch and be so searing. Michael clutched at his hair and whined fitfully. Yes, God, yes, she needed Spock’s mouth on her. His hands, his teeth, his cock, all of it. 

Michael lowered her head down to where Spock was nursing at her breast and shivered. “ Take me.”

She meant to whisper the words but sobbed them instead. How could she speak clearly with the way his tongue was toying with her chest? The feeling of hollowness verberated within her as he thumbed one tip and nibbled softly at the other. Hells.

“ Spock, please!” Her voice was muffled by the messy waves of his hair but she could feel his recognition of her words. 

Spock’s full lips released her nipple with a tug and looked at her. Michael wasn’t sure if he was being playful or impish though both might have been true. Spock had always had the face of a worried cherubim, his pensive face forever angelic in its youthful concern. Here now, Michael’s dark, little angel had grown into a hot, vengeful god with a body to match. 

There was a glimmer to his eyes as he stared at her that she couldn’t attribute to the starlight beyond them. It made her heart race and sex throb further. It was settling in that he was finally going to take her. Giddiness made her already sensitive nerves drunk with lust.

Michael pulled at his shoulders and drew him closer. He went to her, with an amused look on his face. He crawled over her as he did, lowering his hips atop hers. The press of his lok felt obscene, as if it had grown longer in the last time she had seen it. A small, wet blotch near the tip let Michael know Spock hadn’t spent himself during his efforts in the bathroom. 

She wriggled a hand down between them and stroked her fingers gently over the silken skin there. Spock’s shoulders tensed under her hands as her nails caught along the underside of his lok’s head.

“  _ Ri _ ?” she asked, quietly, stroking him once more. Spock’s jaw went slack and an inhuman noise of pleasure bubbled up from his throat. “  _ Ha. Kwon-sum. _ ”

Michael didn’t know if always was truly the word to sum up her expertise and quality of her mate’s pleasure. She loved to touch Spock and he very much loved to be touched by her. She met his gaze and licked her lips. “ I want you.” she murmured in standard. 

The words felt blocky and stupid in her mouth after speaking so long in Vulcan but Michael thought a change in language might help sped things along. Her body and mind gave every signal they could throw at Spock. She hadn’t tried an invitation yet.

Spock acquiesced by snaking his body over hers. He came to rest against her torso. Michael sucked at the air as his skin slid across hers. He was burning up. “ Spock?”

One of his hands tangled its fingers in the curls of her hair and tilted Michael’s head to expose her neck. 

Michael quietly gasped and shivered as Spock ran his tongue over her throat. His lips dragged above and below with a soft tickle she was learning to like. 

“ Nash-veh. Du nash veh, Michael.” he crooned, before licking her again. His dry, raspy tongue tingled the parts of her that wished to be licked as well. 

Michael fidgeted underneath him as much as his hold and body would allow. Her nerves were sharp with the sensation of his mouth. Spock tugged her hair further until she was arching into him. Mine. The thought coursed through her along with the image of her soft brown skin being enveloped by his mouth. Spock nipped behind her ear and she mewed helplessly. 

“ T’du.” she said quietly. 

On the third lick she and Spock rose from her throat. She saw him studying her with dark, dilated eyes. His gaze darted down and he fastened his gaze back to her breasts. Michael tried hard not to move as he dipped back down and nibbled at her clavicle. 

She didn’t know what she expected from Spock in his strange fever-like state but he was taking his time in arousing her. Not that he needed to. Her nipples puckered tight against his chest while her sex continued its ceaseless wetness when he hummed in approval. 

Perhaps it was an instinctual reaction? Michael had yet to feel the effects herself beyond the mindless arousal. Her classmates had told Michael that Pon Farr was different for females. They also happened to leave out in ways it was different so she could only venture a guess. 

What drove males into a single minded focus, devolved females into hormone-ravaged husks. No matter the form, the blood fever stole over both sexes and trained their minds on breeding. 

Spock’s mouth had passed her navel. With his hand now free of her hair Michael rose to her elbows to Spock hovering above her mons. His heavy breath disturbed the her hair there as he brought his mouth closer. 

Michael went to move her legs when his arms wrapped themselves about her thighs. She frowned down at him and felt Spock’s grip on her legs tighten. That overwhelming darkness that Michael often sensed inside him reared up and brought her into its focus.

_ Mine _ Spock’s mind rasped. It wasn’t an angry rebuke but an affirmation. Michael stared at Spock’s bearded, snarling face above her pelvis as he held her legs open. “ Hafah’uh.” he demanded. He said it as if she were being naughty. Maybe in his lust addled eyes she was. She had asked for him and she was getting in the way of it

He was clearly intent to taste between her legs. However, Michael sensed more from his command. He would not have her deny him. Her body was his. Her pleasure would be made by him and him alone. He would have  _ her _ .

_ Mine _ his mind chided once more as he dipped his head lower. Michael seized against the bed as Spock stared at her and pressed his lips against her mound.  _ Holy shit. _ Michael fisted the sheets as Spock’s mouth parted over the dewy curls with a slow but hungry kiss. It was so gentle yet so demented. He smiled, privy to her thoughts and kissed more firmly. 

His eyes darkened as he swiped his tongue between her folds and watched her cry out. She had spoken in standard but the sharp curse could be understood by anyone. He licked again before cupping his lips over her clit with a light suckling. Michael strained in his hold and cursed again. 

What was he doing? He had never touched her like this before. Yes, with his mouth on her folds but Spock had been chaste in his fondling. He touched her boldly now like he had something to prove. He was going to bring Michael to her wits’ end and watch in perverse pride as he did so. 

He pulled away and made a chuckling sound when she sighed in disappointment. She hadn’t intended to but what he was doing felt too good to stop. “ Sanoi.” 

Michael relaxed her legs into his hold. See I can be good she thought. I’ll move as you want so long as you keep that up. Spock rubbed his face along the inside of her. He was thinking but she wasn’t sure about what.

He turned his head and parted her carefully with his hands. Michael shut her eyes and tried not to worry about what he might think. 

Spock shifted himself lower on the bed and she heard him purring softly to himself. Then he began licking in earnest. Michael’s legs went rigid. His tongue. The way Spock was curling it around her clit made Michael dizzy. 

She might have said his name, but she wasn’t sure. She couldn’t control the small, raspy noises that slipped from her lips. Spock didn’t seem concerned. If anything he seemed elated to have his mate so beside herself. A minute longer and Michael cried out with a wail. Spock held her still even as her toes curled against his back. 

A small part of her voiced its dismay over her shouting but another, more voracious part of her outshined it. She didn’t care if Sarek and Amanda heard. They should have encouraged them to leave ages ago. Maybe it wasn’t traditional but their bonding and upbringing were not at all traditional. She would have Spock in all the ways they wanted and nothing would stand in their way. 

Spock growled in approval, still lapping between her thighs. He rose to his hands when her trembling waned. He gazed down at her face with his still wet with her climax. It made the hairs of his beard glisten in the pale light reflected from the Watcher. He looked like a shadow that had gained substances above her. She swallowed, the sound loud in her ears as his large body moved over her.


	10. Drenched with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Lady Peck wait FOREVERRRR and a day for this but all Imma say is 2020 and I think enough said. I hope the smut is up to everyone's tastes and if it's too much have you ever read anything I write bro? Really I love doing gift fics and she's a real pip so I was more than happy to write about this two fussing and fighting and fucking. I mean, again, me. This is along the lines of a one-handed read but I'll let everybody do whatever they want.
> 
> Lady P, it has been a honor and a pleasure :)

His hands were at her legs again, sliding up the outside of her thighs before locking onto her waist. He brought his face close to hers and Michael tilted her chin to meet his lips. She closed her eyes and blushed at the taste of herself on Spock’s tongue. She heard the mattress groan as he shifted their hips into alignment.

A momentary flicker of fear filled her as the head of his lok bumped and pushed against her. Michael drew a breath in to speak when Spock covered her mouth again and pressed in. Michael’s body tensed in the new sensation. Surak, he felt so big. His fingers had done nothing to prepare her for the trial that was his cock. 

She laced her nails into Spock’s shoulders and wailed into his throat as he pulled his hips away. Logic help her. She had asked for this. Is this all that mating was?

Spock removed his mouth from hers and cocked his head to the side. Whatever he was listening to she had yet to hear it. Her body was screaming where Spock had impaled himself and-

He nuzzled into the small space between her jaw and neck and pushed all of himself in her. His mind, his pleasure, that badger of a cock, all of it sank itself in. Michael physically inhaled for air as Spock plunged himself down into the depths of her. Oh sweet logic, she gagged, her eyes fluttering shut, is this what you kept from me? 

Spock’s strange meld drowned her. It triggered all her senses until all five were awash with him. Michael could taste his kiss at her shoulder. Smell his next thrust and see his rapture. This was engulfment wasn’t it? The pair of them, consumed with one another until there was nothing else. Spock stroked within her again and Michael sweetly sighed his name.

The kisses he planted at her shoulder had grown toothier until he closed his teeth over it. Michael clawed at his sides as he held her legs apart and slowly drove himself between the slick, softness of her folds. He groaned into her shoulder and withdrew midway, his climax close.

The delicious exchange between them ebbed as he did. All the sticky, syrupy sensations were melting away like cotton candy. Michael tried to retain it but she couldn’t grab hold or sustain them. It took them both to make them and she learned now that it only took one to break them apart. 

Michael sobbed and shook her head fitfully against the pillow. She understood that climax meant stopping but this pause to draw their coupling out was torturous. 

She dug the small heels of her feet into his plump curve of his backside. “ No, please…Spock, please.”

Spock blinked up from her shoulder, a slight confusion in her face. She took his face between her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. As much as she could, Michael pitched her hips towards him. “ Go. Give me what I’ve wanted.”

She was near tears when he finally resumed and cried in earnest when the sweetness returned.

Spock moved above her like a wave, crashing his body against Michael’s in a rhythmic pummel. Michael shut her eyes and weathered him as Spock churned within her. She panted musically into the air, her breath disturbing his hair and tickling his ear. 

“ _Nash Ra du aitlu_?” He asked, roughly. His hands left her legs and snaked around her. Michael gasped as Spock crushed her to him and wailed as he took her faster. “ Is this what you wanted?”

Is this what she wanted he growled. Was this what she thought of when she envisioned them twined together? Was this the light-headed drunken dizziness that she craved when he stroked her into-

“ _Ha...Ha_!” she cried. As if she would say anything other than yes. He and they were all that and more. Her imagination came up short on how all encompassing it would be. It took effort to move outside of herself, to speak and think.

Spock reared up and jerked above her. Michael hissed at the ensuing heat that flooded her after. She twisted to move away but he caught her by the shoulder. She frowned and he bared his teeth as she attempted to move again. 

She struck him with a open palm at his chest and jostled him enough to slip free of his lok. He snarled at her as she scuttled away and pursued her in the tangle of sheets. The mirth in his hands as he caught her let Michael know he wasn’t angry in truth. He was playing with her. 

He dodged her foot as she sent her leg sailing behind her and flipped her onto her belly. Michael struggled to regain her footing when he splayed his hand down against her back. “ Hafa’uh.” he panted. Michael whined and fidgeted anywhere. His other hand caught her hip as she wiggled her rear against his rapidly swelling erection. 

“ I have gotten tired of you teasing me Michael.” His tone was airy. It was a sharp jaxtapose to the way he was slicking his cock between the tender lips of her sex. Michael bit her lip and arched into him. “ I don’t tease you, Spock.”

She knew he was giving her an arched eyebrow as he began to push back into her. “ I, for one, would argue that.”

Michael’s reply was cut off at the knees as he continued to tunnel forward. He went deeper this way. Her breathing slowed as he worked his way inside her. For all his guff and bravado, Spock was still taking his time with her. Arrogance that he would naturally know what to do and insecurity about her pleasure, colored his first few strokes in needy desperation. 

When Michael started moaning however, that dark, inky lust of his took hold of him once more. It grabbed at her too, licking at her inhibitions until she was numb of them. She writhed under his hand and arched towards his pelvis. “ Spock…”

She had practically purred his name. She could no longer help it or cared to. He was surging in and out of her and it was...ecstasy. “ Mmm, Spock…”

He was fast rutting against her. Michael fell from her hands to forearms. The heat triggered by her mate’s fever, was wearing her ragged. Each pull and thrust was building in her belly. Michael made a grief-stricken sound and clawed at the sheets. “ Ah!”

Spock answered back with a growl in his throat and pinning her down harder. She could feel his lok beginning to swell inside her and catch. He was close and she wanted his climax more than she wanted her own. A small part of her was disturbed by the thought of mitigating her pleasure but it was vastly drowned out by the ceaseless roar of her heat.

It burned at her to arch her hips and take him deeper. It made her desperate for the sensation of her womb being filled once again. Her sensibilities had been locked away by a more primal calling, one by human and Vulcan alike. Procreation. But she would call it what it was. A nasty, dirty fuck. 

“ Spock...need you.” she managed to murmur between pants. “ Please!” Michael knew he would understand her need. He had felt it first, had infected her with this heat and now heeded her every beck and call. 

Her sex was dripping wet and hungrily clenching around him. Her eyes lost focus and the room dimmed around her. The energy he was expelling was building down in her womb, twisting and churning until it felt like she would short from it. Pent as it was her body was bowing into her with a hungry demand. _Claim me, fill me, fuck me._

The mad hunger made her angry and that anger sparked something else in her. “ Give it!”

She was crawling out of her skin. She needed to edge it. His thick length searing her wasn’t enough. She crowed in frustration and swiped behind her. Her nails caught his side and scratched at his skin. She bucked away from the mattress and roared at him like a disgruntled lioness. 

Spock balked away from her senselessly shrieking before answering it in kind. He grabbed her hips and brought her flush against him. Michael shook, yowling like a hellion. So full. He had nestled the full measure of him inside her. She shivered again and involuntarily squeezed around him. Ugh, that was delicious. From the ticking of muscles within Spock’s abdomen Michael thought he enjoyed it as well. 

She tried to replicate it and rolled her hips back. Spock grunted and huffed in disapproval. Her taking the lead would be no more tolerated than her tantrum had. 

Spock took hold of the back of her neck and grumbled for her to be still. She huffed but held still when he grabbed at the flare of her hip as well. “ Hafa’uh.” he commanded again and the heat within her submitted. 

Seeing no more challenge within her Spock grounded and rocked his hips. The anger fogging her mind disappated entirely into a sex-drunken satedness. Her mouth fell open with trembling lips. What was that? He rocked again and a near-climax spasm ran down Michael’s spine. An unbecoming grunt bubbled from her throat and Michael shivered in his hand. He rocked twice more and Michael came with a sob. Spock’s hips didn’t waver. He swayed and pitched his hips against her Michael until she was incoherent. Still he rode her. 

Michael gulped at the air as he leaned forward over her back. His forearm was braced against her thighs. It kept her in place as his cock continued to plunge inside unhindered. Michael whimpered and squirmed. There was no escaping this. No evading him. He had her pinned. His thrusts were deep and merciless. He was driving out the heat along with her mind. Spock turned his head and nipped at the round curve of her ear. “ T’nash veh.” he said breathing heavily.

_Mine_ his mind echoed. Michael blinked into the darkness and answered. One of his hands knit its fingers with hers and held it to the bed. Michael turned her face to the side and half collapsed upon the bed. All her strength was wanning. With each subsequent peak she felt weaker and weaker still. After five she could no longer comprehend the count. Was her mate insatiable? 

Spock nipped at her shoulder and thrust at an angle that had her reeling. Wetness flooded between them and trickled down her thighs. Michael closed her eyes as another climax took her and moaned feebly beneath him.

Spock bit deeper into her shoulder and held her hips still. The first gush of his seed had her arching against him. The come was as hot as it had been before. His hips jerked against her ass again and his lok dispelled another molten stream inside her. He groaned estactically and pushed himself deeper. “ Michael…”

Michael mewed and fisted her covers. Her body was completely spent. Yet here she was, overwhelmed once more. Her orgasm had yet to end when Spock’s slammed against her. She wanted to writhe from the pleasure but he had subdued her further with his mouth and hands. Caged beneath him, Michael could only tremble as Spock held her and released a torrential flood against her womb. 

Spock pitched his hips again and seized as he spent the last of his seed. He momentarily lurched before falling to the side. Michael went with him as he maintained his grip on her hands. She was stuck fasted to him in a sweaty, sticky mess. What was that? Surak would she even be able to walk again?

Michael laid limp in his arms, gasping weakly at the air. Spock pulled her in tighter and sighed. “ Aitlu du nash veh.”

Michael swallowed at the weight of his declaration and scoffed. A second round so soon? But that wasn’t really the point. He was letting her know he liked it. Spock wanted her to feast on the fact that they had worn each other out in the most carnal of fashions. “ Ash’vel.” he whispered. Beautiful. His pretty one.

He bowed his head to Michael’s nape and kissed into the small curls of her tapered fro. The whiskers of his beard caught in a few of them and he had to shake his head to few himself. Michael giggled to herself that even their hair fought. They cantankerous bonding, constantly at each other's throats. The love and affection they had for one another coupled with their stubborn, quick-witted tempers made for a volatile combination but Michael wouldn’t have it any other way. 

He nudged his noses into the tight ringlets and licked at her shoulder. “ T’nash veh.”

“ T’du.” she murmured sleepily.

A thought suddenly jarred him out of her sleepy respite as she jerked against him. “ Du’mehklar!”

Spock cocked his head to the side with a smile that was more wicked than it should have been. “-heard everything.”

Michael clapped her hands over her face and groaned. Fuck. “ No…”

Spock moved her away and then on top of him after he rolled onto his back. “ What is, is, Michael.”

She felt him harden beneath her as his smile broadened. “ And if they didn’t hear you then.” he said, taking her wrists behind her and holding them in the vice of his hand. “ - then they’ll be sure to hear you now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It's finished! Let me know what you liked and loved and clutched your pearls over! The only bigger whoredom I have aside from Spock is comments so c'mon and spoil this writing sugar baby :3. 
> 
> P.S.Again if any one has prompts in mind ( do write T rated { don't think I've ever written G}) hollar at me with what's the favorite story I've written and why and your prompt idea ( if you want)

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try and update this at least once a week and have it in between 7-10 chapters in length.


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